Lost Girl Recap Something Wicked This Fae Comes: What's the Worst That Could Happen?

Lost Girl 2.01 Something Wicked This Fae Comes

It’s Season 2, y’all. It gonna be a long slog, and I can’t promise you that you won’t lose a little faith along the way, but there are some bright spots—real gems in fact! So, don’t lose heart just yet. At least we don’t have to wait for it to air. Thanks, SyFy!

If you can remember that far back, last week a whole bunch of sh-t hit the fan. Bo’s momma, Aoife, sent a suicide bomber after the head of the light fae and the high council. Leaving the Ash on life support, many elders dead, and everybody else running for the hills tunnels out of Toronto. Supposedly, this was going to ignite the war between the light and the dark. Yeah, that didn’t happen so much. Bo went after Mommy Dearest to stop the light fae from killing her by getting her to turn herself in so the light fae could kill her. Luckily, Bo had two major assists in this quest: Trick wrote in his own blood to force Aoife to make nice (I’m not exactly sure what he wrote, but she stopped being a crazy b-tch and that really is the take-home message here) and Dyson went to see the Norn and bargained away his love for Bo in order to give her his strength in the battle against her mother. It was really a big misunderstanding, he thought he was giving up his wolf, but norns are trickier than the merry Trickster and he made a bad bargain. Distraught out of his mind, we last see Dyson stripping down and heading out to howl his agony at the moon in private. Yeah, yeah, he pulled a Twilight. Try not to think too hard about it. Aoife was carried away by a silhouetted man in a suit, and we don’t know what happened to her. And when we last saw Trick he was bleeding out in his desk chair. Now that we’re all caught up, let’s on to the show.

When we come back from out trip down memory lane, Bo has joined the Initiative and is stalking down storm drain pipe with Hale at her back on the trail of underfae monster-thingy pets that got loose when their owners were turned into fae-mburger.

Bo whines, “and we’re the fae SPCA, yay!” because she really doesn’t think it should be her responsibility. And for a species that lives for thousands of years, you’d think there’d be more of them, but apparently Hale and Bo are it. No wonder the light didn’t go to war, the final battle would have been two guys in a basement with a couple of swords made out of paper towel holders and flashlights. (Come on, like you never tried to make your own light sabers.)  Hale seems pretty fed up with the workload and covering for his boy and this must not be the first time because Hale hasn’t seen Dyson in 3 weeks, and now we know how long the hiatus was. He does wonder what happened between Bo and Dyson that made him take off. Bo’s swearing she didn’t do anything that drastic, when Kenzi pops up behind them with a flashlight under her chin and scares them both in a move out of summer camp.

Hale fusses that they told her to wait in the car, to which Kenzi replies, “Cars are the basements of horror movie clichés.” And we get a great wide-angle shot with horror movie cliché scream as the flying underfae bat-thing swoops in towards the group and Bo hits it with a flame thrower.  They cram what’s left of the deep fried bat into the trunk of the succmobile, when Bo starts looking a little woozy.

Kenzi helps her into the car, takes another passing shot at Dyson for not being around when they need him and heads off to get Bo “emergency takeout.” Clue, the takeout isn’t the fried chicken Kenzi was craving. It is some poor minimum wage kid working the counter at a fast food joint. Bo throws him into the bathroom kissing and touching him as he stammers about taking it slow and all the other silly phrases teenage boys learn from television that they are supposed to say to girls before pressuring them into sex. Bo is barely listening as she rips their shirts off and starts feeding on the guy.

Maybe if he had been older, more comfortable with women, it wouldn’t have seemed so predatory to me. But he isn’t, and it does. Apparently, the line on using humans for fae gain stops just shy of actually killing them. I guess we didn’t have to discuss this problem when D-man was around to satisfy Bo. But the feeding off of humans who aren’t even consenting to a regular sexual relationship before she uses her powers on them seems like something we usually wouldn’t support, especially not with Aoife’s attack on Dyson only a scant two weeks back in my memory. But buckle up it’s a brave new world we’re living in. Humans are no longer off limits. Nevertheless, the kid lives and Bo lives, and we’re off to meet the actual case of the week.

Yep, that’s right. The writers took more from Ray than just his title. The traveling circus has come to town and they are having car trouble. A tow truck driver pulls up and asks what the problem is, looking all helpful and stuff.

Then, he gets eaten by a big bald dude covered in tattoos and a serious lower jaw problem.

Lots of fae in this one. And the credits roll.

Back at the Dal, Lauren is giving Trick a check-up and remarking how well he is healing from his little writing accident, when Bo & Co. return. Trick rips his hand away from Lauren—so I’m guessing Bo doesn’t know what he did for her—affects a chipper voice, and asks how the mighty hunting trip went. They say they caught the underfae monster thingy, and that they are hoping it is the last of them. Lauren is surprised that Bo didn’t fully heal after her takeout snack (er…sexual assault?), proving once again that she has very little understanding of Bo’s powers and how much they take out of a person because Bo sarcastically admits, she thought she’d leave the poor kid alive.

Bo says she’s fine and that Lauren should be looking a little closer to home for someone to save. “When was the last time you slept?” Lauren admits that she doesn’t trust anyone else to monitor the Ash in his condition…wait wasn’t she supposed to be some put upon slave type? Let’s see: she is making all the medical decisions for the highest ranking light fae in the district, has the power to say who does what in the light fae labs, and is working herself night and day to keep the guy alive. Definitely a shrinking violet, waiting for someone to give her orders or kill her type. The romantic music plays and we are supposed to find it sweet that Lauren came to make sure Bo was okay when she obviously had important matters on her clipboard. I want to, except she was examining Trick when we got here, and there is nothing for her to do to help Bo. I promise by the end of the episode I will find something nice to say about the poor girl, for instance, her hair is so much less flat than usual. Well done, styling.

Lauren goes to take a phone call from her assistant (yep, she said assistant), and Hale tells us that tonight’s catch brings us up to 8. “Underfae, collect the whole set,” quips Kenzi with a little dance.

Yeah, still waiting on my Team Dyson T-shirts. He promised they were getting them. Okay, I’ll focus on the show. Hale proceeds to give us a little foreshadowing, with the Ash out of commission and the light fae reeling, bigger and more organized bad guys are going to start coming at them. I’m thinking too late. There is a wagon train of gypsy fae rolling into town with a light fae tow truck driver in their belly. Lauren pipes up, to tell the rest of the crew about the body dump—out of the belly and onto the road he is then. Bo and Hale roshambo for the honor of checking it out.

Bo draws the short straw. “You suck, Siren.” It’s a little whinier than the usual Dyson/Hale buddy routine, but I like Bo snarking with Hale. She turns to Lauren and recruits her too, as it might get “science-y.” The gang heads roadside to examine a body imprint from the flayed corpse, neat! Lauren deduces that the body was swallowed whole and spit back out minus the skin. Bo wonders what kind of fae feed off of skin, and Lauren reminds her that there are more kinds of nasty than just hungry fae. “There’s creepy dudes who like to make body suits out of other people’s skin,” alludes Kenzi.

Bo decides they need to find them. She notices the overabundance of tire marks in the recent mud and realizes that there were a bunch of them all together. Kenzi moves forward saying they need to find a tracker they can trust, since Dyson is out of the picture. “She said leaving an open opportunity for her friend to snark.”

Bo is past the annoyed stage of Dyson’s disappearance, she’s moved onto worried. What if he is hurt or isn’t coming back or busy shooting Underworld 5000? Kenzi rationalizes for her that they know Dyson and he just isn’t like that, plus they blew him up in the fourth one, and after all how much can a dude change in 3 weeks?

Two cops escort a beaten and bruised Dyson in the interrogation room at the cop shop. Hale steps in to take custody of our rabble-raising wolfman and give him a clean shirt. Oh, Dyson, you are beat to hell! What have you done to yourself? We only get a glimpse, but Underworld prep certainly is a good look on the guy. Hale is happy to finally have him home and knows that Bo is going to be happy to see him as well. Dyson evades the Bo issue and any explanation of why he’s been getting in fights up and down the coast for the last 3 weeks, and Hale moves onto bigger issues about the state of the light fae. As it turns out Buzz, never met an ale he didn’t like, Porter is in charge, but really Trick is the one holding it together. Hale is optimistic despite the dire look on Dyson’s face and they head out to his fervent hope of things “getting back to normal.”

Meanwhile, the girls have found themselves a less than wolfman tracker with an allergy problem who leads them to the traveling carnival. 

Even his nose is good enough to tell that the carnival isn’t what they appear on the surface: they are all fae. Bo and Kenzi walk in, name drop the Ash like it was old hat, and are told by the head carnival barker that creepy bald fae got loose and accidentally ate a dude, but the head barker is totally sorry.

Bo and Kenzi think it sounds pretty shady, but there are too many of them to take care of without backup and Trick’s approval, so to the Dal they go to report back in. But before they can get Trick’s say-so to start a war with the circus peeps, Bo catches a glimpse of a creepy little girl waiting for Harrison Ford to come save her family from the mob. She quickly disappears, but something about the sound effects tells me that we haven’t seen the last of dour Amish girl.

The atmosphere at the Dal is slightly more chipper than the last time we were there. The underfae tracking board is gone. In its place are revelers and happy Irish folk music. Buzz Porter comes in and immediately starts drinking neither porter nor ale, but definitely something from shot glass, as he tries to make merry with the crowd despite Trick fussing at him from behind the bar.

Buzz fobs off Trick’s concerns and moves away to make room for Bo to comment on Trick’s frustration level. She doesn’t get much of a chance though because Hale phones in to tell them that D-man is back. Bo is shocked and trying to process the new info, but it is pretty easy to guess where her next trip is going to take her.

Dyson is in his apartment reminiscing about losing his heart and basically wallowing in pain, when Bo storming in.

You go girl! Bo’s I’ve-been-practicing-this right hook knocks the brooding D-man back a step, but you have to hand it to him for taking it like a man who knows he totally deserved it. Bo wants to know what happened, but Dyson ducks her questions and says he was dealing with some personal stuff. Not very well if you ask me. Bo thinks she should totally rank pretty high on the What Counts As Personal to Dyson Scale, but he refuses to elaborate.

He segues onto the case, and I swear to God gets on his motorcycle inside and offers Bo a ride back to the Dal. I’m not sure if he can ride it straight out of the building like a Mini Cooper stealing gold bricks, but I would pay money to see him try. I actually would pay money just to watch him sit on it. Who knew that motorcycle maintenance could make the man even hotter?

When we get back to the Dal, Lauren has completed her preliminary report. She’s figured out that the killer was definitely fae and so was the victim—tell us something we don’t know already—but she hasn’t been able to ID the victim. That’s all for her forensic workup. Bo and Kenzi inform the group that they tracked the kill to some circus fae out by the old candy factory (creepy much?). Head barker Zale owned up to the body dump, but since he never mentioned that the kill was fae, they’re probably going to need a good shove to get any actual info out of him.

Bo offers to take Dyson there, but he declines in favor of going with Hale. Bo instantly registers the brush-off, as do Kenzi and Trick. Lauren leaves for the lab without a second glance. Trick tries to soften the blow by telling Bo he needs her help on a theory he has about the circus folk.

When Hale and Dyson get to the wagon circle, the circus peeps have skedaddled leaving their wheels and clothes and a salted trail behind them. Somebody doesn’t want to be found.

Dyson can’t track them, but he does smell the remains of our helpful tow truck driver. He fishes a bit of skin out of a fire pit and takes it to Lauren.

Lauren pops the evidence under her microscope and identifies a new wrinkle in the case: the deceased had a tattoo on the inside of his skin. Someone should have that kinda freakiness in a database somewhere, right? Hale peers into the eyepiece and gets a bit more information. The tattoo looks like a map. Now they have a motive, but no idea what the treasure is. Time to figure out where the map leads them. Dyson calls Trick to let him know, and then heads off to search through old case files with Hale. After the handy telephone hand off, we’re back in the Dal to see what Trick can do with the new information. Seems he “liberated” some of the Ash’s books for “safe-keeping.” Sure, Trickster, we trust you. Bo and Kenzi are left behind to soak in the day’s drama along with some much needed alcohol.

“Maybe something sweet, like an apology from Dyson for being le merde-face since he got back?” Bo says heck yeah. She thought she would get to be the pissy one. I say heck yeah. Kenzi seconds the thought, “That is how I have come to understand things from my education in romantic comedies. Also, girls with glasses are way smart and being klutzy is adorable.” I just can’t see Kenzi sitting around watching 27 Dresses. Can you? Regardless, the girls are upset. “It’s like he’s afraid to be alone with me.” Kenzi the sage hits the nail on the head as always, “Maybe you aren’t going to like what he has to say.” Oh, dear sweet, Bo, you aren’t going to like it, not one little bit. I am almost hoping they drag it out—keep the hope alive. But I’m a tomorrow is brand new day with no mistakes in it, soak the Band-Aid before you even peel at the edges kinda girl, and that’s not Bo.

While the girls are getting their drink on, grey-faced vaguely Asian-looking underfae carnival dude is getting his daily dose of fiber in Trick’s lair by eating all the special books that Trick stole from the Ash. He escapes down the bizarrely placed sewer tunnel in Trick’s lair before Bo can stop him. She dives after him, but he turns into rats. Meet: Tesso, rare Japanese underfae, turns into rats, powerful shamans, absorbs knowledge by consuming it. They don’t mention what happens on the other end.

Next step, figure out what books he was eating to try and devise what he was there to learn. Trick’s on it, but they have another clue: rat boy’s cape has a symbol on it identifying him as one of the sluagh. Sluagh the wandering damned, they tried to play both sides during the Great Fae War and didn’t make a lot of friends because of it. Now they are cursed to wander without rest, without a home. Sad. I don’t get it, Bo isn’t aligned either, but she has a warm comfy crack shack to call home? Oh well, the Sluagh went down to Toronto, they were looking for a something to steal. They were in a bind ‘cos they were cursed of a kind and they were looking to make a deal. The boys are going to check the fences for anything valuable, and Bo is going to learn how to cook.

Lauren drops by the clubhouse to see what Bo has managed to whip up on her hot plate (?) and wax geeky about carbs. Except she seems to be eating pasta, which is a complex carbohydrate, which your body can’t digest as quickly and has a much lower glycemic index…yeah, I didn’t think it was adorable when Lauren did it either. But some do. Luckily, carbohydrates aren’t the only thing she has to talk about. She has also identified the tow truck driver. He was a helpful road fae. When Lauren used the Ash’s access clearance code (she has a top security clearance?), she also found two other files that were related to our AAA-fae. But she didn’t get further than that before craving some quality Bo time and maybe a nap. Bo gives her a lovely protective look and Lauren settles in for a long day’s nap. After looking through some books Lauren brought, Bo finds something. The tow truck driver wasn’t just a helpful road fae, he was also a guardian, a life of servitude protecting something with your actual body.

Kenzi has stayed behind at the Dal to make sure that Trick doesn’t get too science-y himself. She rushes in and grabs the rat from under his prying hands and threatens to call PETA if he takes one more step. “I’m seriously calling PETA, or I guess FETA?”

 Trick assures Kenzi that all he has are tweezers, and they couldn’t hurt a sleeping rat. Yeah, now can he explain that to the FAA? Kenzi relents and Trick is able to pull a scrap of paper from the rat’s mouth and discover what the Tesso wanted to learn.

Uh oh. Trouble. Didn’t see that one coming. Okay, I did. There was no possible scenario in which the Sluagh were here to take in Toronto’s homeless population and save some inner city kids from gang violence by teaching them the power of Shakespeare.

Kenzi heads back to the clubhouse to share the rat’s info with Bo. Kenzi says they think the next target is the Sword of Agros. Bo pipes up that she might know who has it. Kenzi is all shocked, “how?” “Cause I’m super smart.” Ha. Wait while I catch my breath. Last episode you forgot you were a PI and now you are super smart? Oh, honey, the confidence is adorable, but don’t go telling people that okay? They hypothesize that the guardians being killed were probably guarding whatever it is the Sluagh want, but the Ash’s clearance code get them contact info for all three. Before they can formulate a plan to track down the next one, Dyson calls to let them know that the next guardian is in fact dead and whatever he had been protecting was ripped out of him. Back at the lab, they determine that Ralph (dead guardian #2) had the Sword of Agros inside him in an organic sheath along his spine—sitting must have been awkward.

It’s back to the Dal and the Trick-o-pedia for a little exposition, it feels like the episode has been dragging, so let’s pick up the pace a bit. Trick says the Sluagh need to sword to break the heart stone, a manifestation of the fae’s marriage bond with the land. It’s really metaphysical or something, but the land becomes corporeal and mates with the Ash allowing the Ash to claim the land for the light fae. It means less crime, better infrastructure, and stops the dark from overrunning the city. The homeless Sluagh want the land, which would send all the light fae into exile. Bad news for the highways and byways, and oh yeah, the humans that the dark would run roughshod over. Gotta stop the Sluagh from breaking the heartstone, except they don’t know where it is. They have to call in Buzz. While Trick does that, Hale and Kenzi start to get at the root of Dyson’s problems. “What’s been up with you, man? That time of the wolf month?” Dyson breaks his scowling façade for a minute to give Kenzi a little grin, but she isn’t folding that easily.

Hale is picking up what Kenzi is putting down. He wants to know why Dyson is off his game. Dyson relents and tells Hale that he is living a faerie tale. Hale is not impressed, “Bold move, but you just run off after?” Dyson claims shock, denial, an urge to lick his wounds in private, whatever. And then Hale gives us the greatest false hope of all, because it turns out Hale is a hopeless romantic (don’t tell him about Once Upon a Time it would break his little fae heart). “There a reason our fae tales end with a magic kiss, and your girl’s lips are super charged.”

Dyson thinks about it, but definitely seems to know better. Trick, finally, drags Buzz back to the Dal to tell them where the heart stone is. Buzz is being pretty scattered, but it is hard to tell whether he is out and out lying or just a drunk old man. The best part though is he calls on “meat bag” Kenzi to get him his glasses and a pen so he can draw them a map. Dyson’s eyebrows go up. Kenzi hops off the bar, pulls Buzz’s glasses down off of the top of his head, and says “meat bag” accusatorily at Trick who shoots back a mouthed, “I’m sorry.” She really isn’t just some random human to them, and I love how she fits in with the group. They go off and leave Dyson and Bo alone. And Bo is done being subtle. “You know what we do best? We fight, each other, the world, whatever.” She thinks that together they make a pretty unstoppable team, and “that what is needed right now. Team Badass.” She says let’s table the personal stuff. Dyson needs to put on his “big wolf pants,” so they can go kick some tail.

After Dyson changes his pants, they take Buzz’s map and head off to pick up the heart stone. Unfortunately, it is a trap. The Sluagh knew they were coming and the heart stone wasn’t even there. There’s a leak in the camp, and the leak is roughly Buzz-shaped. Buzz sold out the light fae and made a deal with the Sluagh. They get the land, Buzz gets power and position and all the carnival freaks he can handle. Realizing that he’s been caught, Buzz explains the rest of the ritual. Zale needs a major mojo power-up to be able to boink the land. So, Tesso will chant the incantation he ate at Trick’s that will funnel the energy from a group of revelers to Zale. “What crowdsorced Viagra?” Kenzi picks up that the Sluagh are going to need a sexy underground neopagan flash rave, and instantly goes to call her peeps. Love that girl.

Kenzi gets the hookup. Let’s face it, the Sluagh throw a good party. People are having a good ole time. Kenzi has a fake Mohawk that is taller than Dyson. and Pfizer’s got nothing on this group. Bo can definitely feel it. She gets distracted briefly when Kenzi pulls her away, “Do I have to cuff your muff?” The team splits up to find Tesso and Zale, but Dyson finds Bo first.  

The contrast between the beat of the music and Bo’s slow turn into him with the long deep kiss is incredibly hot. The shot keeps circling around them, and for a second, you get caught up in how much they are putting into the kiss. I forget that Dyson is trying to regain something that he gave up, until at the end he opens his eyes just a slit and instead of passion on his face you only see pain. And I crumple. There’s no magic fix, this problem is going to be lasting for a while. It’s not that I didn’t always know it was going to, but I’d tried to rationalize the possibility. I mean Bo and Dyson got all sexy sexy in episode 2! That never happens. They got together early and often and it didn’t hurt the show, didn’t kill the hotness. I don’t know how they did it, but they did, so it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that maybe they would get it back. Okay, it was. It always was. I’m going to be lucky if I see them together again before the series finale and maybe not even then. The real question now isn’t if the show can handle a happy couple and keep the heat, it’s if the show can handle a tortured Dyson and keep the relationships going the way they were. But back to the kiss. Bo is so high off of the kiss and the crowd that she is totally oblivious to Dyson. He sends her off to find Zale, who is getting his reveler-enhanced mojo on with the land. Bo stops their turning plexiglass bedroom, asking “Do you have to be THIS horny to ride this ride?”

Dyson and Hale catch up with Tesso. Hale suggests a complicated plan to take him down, but Dyson is feeling a little rough around the edges right now. He walks up and breaks the dude’s neck. Badass. Zale immediately feels the loss. Bo sends the land away. Zale tries to win Bo over to the side of Sluagh, mentioning that she too is an outcast of fae society. Bo’s not impressed by his sales pitch.

Sure he was trying to do what was best for his people, and Bo understands the outcasts, but in the end she’s finally found a home of her own, and she isn’t about to give that up for a bunch of gypsies. She succubuses away all his crowdsourced virility. The Sluagh’s plot is ended.

The Wrap-up

Trick and Dyson are sharing one last companionable drink in Trick’s lair, where Trick comes clean to Dyson about using his blood to help Bo. He worried that the Sluagh were his punishment.

Trick knows there is cost associated with his powers, but with the victory over the Sluagh, he has pushed the worry to the back burner. For Dyson, the price he paid to help Bo is gnawing at his insides without hope of reprieve. But he doesn’t talk to Trick about it. He walks upstairs to find Bo at the bar. He can put it off no longer. Bo gets a little flirty banter going. “We going to start this reunion over again?” “Depends, you gonna punch be again?” But it is all for naught. He’s not going to start this party over. Bo gets the discussion going, thanking him for his strength in fighting her mother. He tells her that it came at a cost. The norn took that which was most important to him. He didn’t even know what it was until it was gone, but price he paid was them. Bo doesn’t understand. How can a fae she’s never heard of take such an abstract concept, plus “that kiss it was—“ “Our last.” Dyson interrupts her protests and rips the Band-Aid off so fast he tears all the way down to the bone. Way to sugarcoat it, buddy. I’m shaken and I knew what was coming, had time to process. Bo looks like she gotten hit by a wrecking ball and doesn’t even know how many bones are broken yet. Dyson apologizes and runs away. I know he is in pain, so much pain he can’t even stand being in his own skin, but he could have been a little gentler with the poor girl.

There is only time for one last twist. The minute Dyson is out the door, the creepy drab Amish girl reappears.

She has come to warn Bo of impending disaster. Something old has awoken, and it is coming straight for our heroine. Well, after today, maybe mass destruction wouldn’t be all that bad.