Lost Girl Recap I Fought the Fae (And the Fae Won): Election Day

Lost Girl Episode 2.02 I Fought the Fae (And the Fae Won)

If you feel like you got hit by a ton of bricks falling off a forklift after last week’s big breakup, you aren’t the only one. And, if you are worried that our girl Bo isn’t going to be holding up too well either, you really aren’t the only one. We open this week at the clubhouse where Kenzi has recruited Hale to come unbury Bo and maybe try to put Humpty together again. “Vodka, fudge swirl, large animal tranq dart,” lists Kenzi as she collects said comfort implements. Kenzi has always known a good breakup mix. Hale thinks that maybe this is overkill until Kenzi reminds him that the last time Bo and Dyson broke up there was an explosion, a car got smashed, three furies died, and a dude got his head cut off. Yeah, and that was after a one-night stand. Who’s overreacting now, huh? “Tiny girl has got a point,” but Hale still laments having to be part of the girly girly time. Kenzi reminds him it is all his boy’s fault. “Sidekick solidarity, man. Check your contract.”

They walk into Bo’s bedroom where she seems pretty content listening to tunes, swinging on her big bedroom swing wearing deeply garish red slip. It isn’t a new fangled plastic and nylon swing either, it’s old school with a big wooden seat straight out of some kid’s tree house. When did she get a swing in her bedroom? Can the structure of the crack shack really support that sort of force? And more importantly, how do I get one? Because, it is really that awesome, of course.

Bo is pretty blasé about the whole getting dumped by her great love thing, and Kenzi is sensing mental collapse. “Danger, danger she has lost her junk [shit if you are in Canada].”

Bo says they don’t need to worry. She’s fine. Kenzi—ever the intuitive one—isn’t impressed by Bo’s claims to sanity and stability though. Even Hale thinks she’s dealing with the breakup suspiciously well. “That’s because we didn’t break up. We were broken up.” Denial it is then. Although after the no-punches-pulled talk Dyson had with her at the end of last episode, I’m not sure how she could have held onto any possible seed of doubt. It was possibly the harshest breakup ever not seen on reality television. I mean Simon is nicer to tone deaf crazy chicks trying to sing Mariah. Okay, he wasn’t that bad. But he was blunt and…terse? Yeah, let’s go with terse. Sorry, peeps, I just can’t sustain any real anger against the guy. He was in pain, and there was nothing that he could have done to soften the reality of the situation that wouldn’t have sent mixed messages. Bo is confused enough. And that is what is so tragically sad about the whole scene. Bo is talking about recognizing “real love” for the first time ever. The moment she is starts coming to grips with how much she feels for Dyson is the moment right after he walks out the door. How can the Lost Girl world be that unfair?

On a more productive front, Bo does address the elephant in the breakup: the Norn. Who Bo would be totally willing to extract her vengeance on, if she weren’t just a tiny bit scared of her phenomenal fae power. So Bo is on to plan B.

Merryweather Kenzi says blue. Fuana Hale picks pink. It is really adorable how he points at the dress and nods his head. You can totally see him dressing Bo up like a paper doll in his head. At this point, Kenzi recognizes that Bo is further gone that she initially thought. It’s time to send Hale packing, “Can you give us a second? This is kinda a girl thing.” “That is what I’ve been saying.” Hale and Kenzi are great together this episode, but it’s time for a little honest-to-honest girl talk. Once Hale is gone, Kenzi asks straight up if Bo is really okay with all of this. And Bo drops the hyper crazy tone and says of course she isn’t. However, she’s now realized that Dyson risked everything for her and his doing that meant that he really loved her. Her. “Not the sex, not the succubus, me. “ Which is something she’s never had before and something she wants to fight for.

Kenzi is all for it. 

Bo just needs a plan. Unfortunately, all she’s got is the crazy delusional voice again saying that being back at square one is a good thing, because how many couples get to fall in love twice (?!?) Right, come on, now. Great plan! Yeah, Kenzi doesn’t think it’s that promising either. “That’s it woo? Your big plan is to woo?”

Bo’s big plan takes us straight into the case of the week. Deep in the tunnels under the city, we meet a convict with a bad perm and handcuffs, who presumably is also a desperate woman in love, in the middle of a prisoner transport. The cops don’t seem like bad guys, they are “rooting for her” after all, but despite their good wishes the girl slings some quills at them and runs away. “There is something I have to do.” Desperate, check. Underestimated, check. On the loose, check.

And who better to catch her than our favorite fae detectives! The boys are back in town! Plus, Hale is everywhere this episode. Basically all they find out from the not-dead guard is that quill girl was being transported when she escaped. Hale also identified that Dyson is still having trouble dealing with things and has been out hunting…a lot. Oh, and, we time jumped, again.  

The girls meanwhile have taken the time afforded by the opening credits to get themselves to the Dal and into the middle of the action. Bo starts to ask Trick what he knows about the norn Dyson went to visit, but she’s interrupted by a few well-dressed visitors.

Meet the Blackthorn: emissary from merry old faetown, Blackthorn (like Ash) is a title not a name his real name is Il Dushane (no idea how to spell that one), he’s suave, he’s debonair, he’s dressed in fifty shades of purple. He’s here to make a proclamation. Due to incompetence that almost led to his death, the council (?) has ordered that the Ash be replaced. Line up, wannabes. It’s time for the selection games. They are like the hunger games, but you can’t eat this stag. (And I promise that is going to be my only Hunger Games jab of the recap, it really is just too obvious.) Bonus, we get to learn a little bit about the fae political structure as well. Nifty. The Dal is ready for the party. Bo likes to keep her peeps in the loop, so she calls Lauren, who is definitely not ready for the party. Lauren looks up from her microscope long enough to look truly devastated by the news.

Luckily, Hale is feeling all exposition-y back at the Dal. So he clues the girls in on the finer points of light fae elections. Let’s see, they don’t happen every day, so they are a big deal. There’s a giant feast, a stag hunt, and, if Kenzi crashes, some wenches and mead. Hale offers to take the girls as his date, but Bo declines. She throws a never-gets-old Princess Bride quote over her shoulder as she high tails it away from fae politics. “Have fun storming the castle.” Leaving us watching Dyson have a staring contest with the Blackthorn.

Something big is going down there, friends. But don’t worry, they won’t tell us what it is. The same way Bo will never again ask about the norn. Easily distracted she is.

Luckily, Kenzi is still focused on the fun stuff—parties. They arrive home with Kenzi still wondering when they stated turning down a free party—or a free anything for that matter. Bo says nothing is free when it comes to the fae and “their little reality show.” “Survivor: Fae Island. I would tune in,” Kenzi quips back. She really is pushing the party hard. But after listing all the British stuff she can think of “And Mary Poppins!” she gives in. Kenzi’s surrender is moot though, because they have a visitor: the stag.

The Surrogate Love Story

Meet Sabine: light fae, prisoner cum stag, thought love conquered all, arrested for falling for the wrong guy (aka Hammish), poison quills, doesn’t want to end up on a spit with an apple in her mouth. Her story: once upon a time when girls wore drop-waist dresses and floppy hats, she fell in love with the wrong guy. They knew it was wrong. Light and dark just don’t mix.

But they were in love, and his clan was about to marry him off to someone else. So they plotted to escape together. She was betrayed. During her capture, she fought and injured a light fae guard. She’s been in prison ever since. That is until she volunteered to sacrifice herself like a dangling chad for fae politics. She’s a willing sacrifice, but before she dies she wants to see her lover one last time. Bo agrees to help. Before she can get anywhere with the promise though, the Blackthorn’s men show up to take Sabine back into custody.

Bo stands her ground. “This is not light fae territory. Get out.” The Blackthorns men all well-built tall guys, where do they find all these extras? And could they stop south of the border every once in a while. I mean on the last episode of Glee, Matt Bomer looked tall. Nevertheless, the tall well-built, armed guard here to capture an escaped convict guys are honestly looking a little warily at Bo. Before anything rough and tumble happens though, we hear Dyson’s voice coming through the door warning Bo and ordering the guard to stand down. Sheesh, Dyson worked his way up with the Blackthorn pretty fast. He’s got his no nonsense voice on, and the guys believe him when he threatens to rip out their throats if they don’t back off while he takes care of it. They step out while Dyson convinces Bo that she’s outnumbered and in no position to go against the light fae in the matter. Bo folds pretty easily, I’m guessing to show Dyson that she’s past the difficult, I don’t wanna listen to you even if you are right phase she was in when they were together. Dyson promises Kenzi that Sabine will be protected and taken care of until the hunt. Sabine agrees that she needs to go with them, which pretty much ends the discussion. After the Blackthorn’s men leave with Sabine, Bo asks Dyson for some alone time to talk about what he told her, but it’s pretty obvious that she hasn’t grasped the idea that things are over. “Trading away your feelings to save my life. That’s a pretty messed up love letter.”

Oh Bo, sweetheart, it wasn’t a love letter. It was a desperation play that you forced him into because you wanted to pout for another day and the writers had a lot of plot holes to fill: how to get you to fight your mother alone, how to break up our favorite couple, how to weaken Dyson so that they could make Bo seem stronger. But now we’re stuck with it, and it is time to come to grips with the harsh reality. The writers just keep making it sadder because the more Bo opens up the more Dyson closes down. At least we have a surrogate love story that should end happily to live vicariously through.

Bo goes to the Ash’s compound to visit the Blackthorn and discuss Sabine’s last request. The Blackthorn seems excited to see her and slightly amused. Bo’s like an undecided voter at a townhall filled with the Tea Party and ACLU donors.

Bo doesn’t approve of fae sacrifice for sport, but the Blackthorn corrects her, ritual. As he expositions about the fae, he leads Bo to a dais where two old ladies start undressing her and holding up fabric choices. The fact that Bo comments not at all to this process must be a tribute to the fascinating point the Blackthorn is making.  He says the light fae are in need of a rebranding. All fae eat humans, it’s who they are. They just differ in the approach. The light are “most like your Native American hunters: we respect the kill, won’t over hunt, don’t kill the young.” Bo asks what that makes her. “An obnoxious vegan.” The Blackthorn explains that the stag hunt is a really a fair system. In exchange for a willing sacrifice, the stag’s crime are forgiving, they restore honor to the family name, and he/she gets to go out fighting instead of rotting away in a catacomb.

Bo shakes off the new information that Sabine is actually committing suicide and not being murdered, but she still presses forward telling the Blackthorn that she plans on getting Sabine’s lost love to her one last time, so she can say goodbye. “This isn’t me asking for permission because we both know I don’t do that.” Aw, look at Bo being all upfront and rebellious. The Blackthorn is a very good politician though, and he doesn’t flinch. Instead he hands her a box will lovely instant-made couture gown and an invitation for her and Trick to the gala.

Bo takes the gown and heads on her way with Kenzi to retrieve the wayward Romeo in this story.

He’s not much to write home about and after acting pretty shady, refuses to talk to our girls by turning invisible and slamming the nondescript industrial complex craphole of a door in their faces. The whole interaction has Bo pretty riled. And Kenzi is definitely picking up the transference that Bo is putting down. “I know you are a little sensitive-o to penis-related rejections right now.” But Bo isn’t budging, now instead of fulfilling Sabine’s dying wish to reconnect with a cowardly lover, she’s going to try save Sabine’s life and not get caught doing it. Kenzi is thrilled.

Bo’s first stop on her quest to save Sabine is to figure out what exactly she needs saving from. That means a trip to our local, lovable Trick-o-pedia. At the Dal, Trick explains that the first step to becoming the new Ash is to make it through the Gyallahaal, to which Bo quips, “Which one Jake or Maggie?” Oh, guys, remember when Jake Gyllenhaal was the big up-and-coming name and you were all like aw, he is such a cute little nerd-nik? Yeah, it was a while ago, oh well. This Gyallahaall is not a just any old party. In fact, it is the first competition to test the candidates' political acumen. Those who get enough votes move on to the stag hunt round. The competitors have to kill Sabine before she makes it to a “bell,” but apparently it’s not designed to make it that hard on them, the entire system is “canted against” the stag winning. Some “worthy prey” concept that is. While Bo searches for a loophole that won’t piss off the Blackthorn, Trick gets progressively more and more annoyed with her. He gets distracted from his annoyance, when Bo tells him that he has also received a personal invitation to the gala from the Blackthorn. But that leaves the sticky situation of trying to rig the hunt. For that, they need some old noble family–type they can exploit. Luckily, our friendly neighborhood police siren has more than one song he can sing.

Even though he starts out all, “Not happening, little mammas.” Hale folds after a little cajoling. He agrees to enter the political fray backed by Bo, Trick, and Dyson. Bo is going to incapacitate the competition and Dyson’s going to protect Hale’s back. Hale is going to siren people into voting for him. Trick doesn’t really get a part, but he looks cute escorting Bo into the festivities. So, Trick’s role is to sit there and look pretty.

It’s important for them to work as a team taking out the competition, so it’s extra good that Dyson seems to have brought along a date. What the?!

So it begins, not only is he barely in the episode, his role seems to be stalking around the background as set decoration and acting as the resident douche bag. Was that the missing ingredient in Lost Girl? Well someone thought it was, because the powers that be threw in two for the price of one.

Bo’s first target is incidentally the only Ash candidate we get to meet, so if first impressions can count for anything, he’s a total jerk, he’s not soon to be Bo’s new bestie, and he should be taken out and whipped the next time he dares wink at anyone at all, even if he has lint in his eye. Needless to say, Bo’s “talents” don’t fully work on him, and he walks away unscathed. She moves on to the other candidates where she has more success. Dyson heads off a wayward ruffie. And suddenly three Ash candidates are down for the count. The odds are looking better for our little Haley. Although, for the life of me, I can’t figure out how this prop is supposed to be working.

Meanwhile, across the party, Trick manages to corner our wayward wolf, but to no avail.

Trick wonders what Dyson’s big plan is because the avoidance ship has totally sailed—workplace romances are never a good idea. “I don’t know what to say to her, Trick.” Trick pulls the “I told you so” offense, but since, he ultimately approved of the sacrifice, I’m not sure where he gets off on this one. Plus, if Dyson hadn’t kept Trick’s counsel, Bo wouldn’t have felt betrayed and Dyson could have simply walked into the fight with her, instead of needing a magical I’m here, but I’m not here assist. Regardless, Trick’s second point is more logical: why make Bo pay for your sacrifice? “That’s not like you.” “Well, I’m not exactly me anymore am I?”

This is what I cling onto in the night, when I awaken crying for my favorite fae couple, when I watch Dyson do one mean thing after another, when I desperately need him to give anyone a warm smile. He’s not really himself. But why for all tea in the Mad Hatter’s cupboard would the writers think making a main character not themselves anymore would be a good storyline? If you can answer that, please make good use of the comments section, because it is beyond my ability to rationalize. Also, if it isn’t too much to ask, answer this: how could he not make Bo pay? The relationship is over, he can’t pretend to love her.

Dyson can’t shut up those of us wearing our Team Dyson T-shirts, but he can shut up Trick. “You’re the one that didn’t want us together, and now that that’s permanent, I’d say you’ve lost your right to complain.” Trick looks downtrodden, but he’s got a little fight left in him when the Blackthorn approaches to suss out what Trick is willing to say about Bo and her mother Aoife.

Bo takes the opportunity to have a little face to face time with Sabine, who in addition to be ritually killed the next day, has been forced to wear the most ridiculous glitter-covered frill I’ve ever seen.

Bo tells her that Hammish isn’t coming. Bo ventures to ask if maybe Sabine was wrong about Hammish’s feelings for her, but Sabine vehemently claims that he truly loved her in return, would never betray her, and if Bo knew what that sort of love was like, she wouldn’t even consider the possibility. Bo is sorry (really!) about not bringing Hammish, but she has another plan. She offers Sabine the chance to get out of her stag duties alive. Bo & Co are going to help Sabine during the hunt to win and still follow the rules. Sabine isn’t terribly interested in venturing out in the brave new world all by her lonesome. “Not every story has a happy ending.” Preaching to the Team Dyson choir, my friend. But before Bo can wallow with her, a cater waiter has an embarrassing run in with an invisible man.

Bo goes after Hammish and head butts the invisible lover. Apparently, she can see aura’s again and he’s burning pretty visibly for Sabine. Bo’s ability to “see” auras is right up there with Emma’s Once Upon a Time ability to “know” when people are lying: a convenient plot point that gets conveniently forgotten most of the time. Otherwise, wouldn’t she have seen a pretty major change in Dyson’s colors the minute he came back from his fightabout?

After a little foreplay, Bo gets Hammish to admit that he does now and always has loved Sabine, but his clan forbid it and they aren’t good peeps. Hammish isn’t bad peeps exactly, he’s just given up. But a quick smack from Bo and a reminder that if he really loved her, he’d fight for her seems to get him pondering a return to the game.

The Main Event

After a few instructions to the remaining candidates—Hale, Ashole wanna be we’ve met, and Almost Ruffier chickybo—the Blackthorn starts the hunt. Remember: sanctioned weapons only, don’t kill each other, and the stag already knows where she is going. Let the games begin!

Lots of running through the woods ensues. Sabine takes out Almost Ruffier chickybo with a few quills when Dyson catches up to her.

He’s so good at sneaking up behind people. Well, Dyson totally “come with me if you want to live’s  Sabine, and they move off. Presumably he helps her reach the bell, otherwise all he is there for is moral support. It’s not really clear how Bo is trying to help Sabine win this thing. She and Kenzi are wandering around the forest all by themselves, and how did they know where the bell was? Complex plots aren’t really a strong suit of Lost Girl. Good thing there is hot, hot romance to make up for it…oh crapballs. Don’t think about it. Back to the hunt. Sabine and Dyson finally find the bell, but so has Ashole wannabe. He takes aim with his bow and shoots at Sabine as Bo yells at her to run. There is an invisible man shimmer. Then, Sabine spins, Sabine falls. And suddenly everybody is there. Sabine is down. Dyson confirms her dead and requests the Blackthorn leave the fallen to the group of humans and unaligned fae randomly interrupting a majorly important light fae ritual. The Blackthorn complies and gets all ready to crown the new Ash, who doesn’t seem to like Bo very much. “You’re the succubus aren’t you? The one who does as she pleases? Well not anymore.” Yeah, totally love that guy.

All the officials leave in time for Hale to finally show up, Lauren to pop out of nowhere with her medical bag almost as if she knew where the bell was, and Hammish to uncloak. Lauren pulls the arrow out, takes a syringe from her bag, rears back, and stabs Sabine in the chest.

Wow, that was some injection. It obviously counteracted the poison though. Ah, tearful reunion.

Operation Woo

We’re back at the clubhouse and Dyson has come by for their “talk.” There is sad, romantic music, and even Bo looks uncomfortable at the skimpiness of her black negligee.

Dyson looks so sad when he comes in and sees Bo putting herself out there like this. He tries to explain, but she cuts him off. Bo has a few things on her mind. First, a thank you for the risks her took to save her life. Second, an apology for being stubborn about accepting how great they were together. God, I’m about to cry as she goes through it. All Bo really wants is to start over, try again, get back what they had. Dyson takes the wine glasses with a mixture of pain and resolution on his face. “This is my fault.” You bet it is. Well, you and insane writers, but also you. “I told you once that wolves mate for life. Well, I gave that love you. And I don’t regret it. But the Norn took it.” And his voice is cracking with the effort of it all.

Bo claims she understands the deal he made with the Norn, but it is clear she doesn’t. “She made you stop feeling what we had, Dyson. She didn’t make me.” Which is what makes it all the sadder, when she keeps talking about starting over. All the while Dyson is trying to tell her that he never gets to start over again.  It’s like an algebra problem to her. There is a train leaving station A. On it is a man who has one love. A crazy old hag comes and takes that love. How much love does the man have? You have to give credit to Bo though—she is stubborn. Plus, I’d have liked to see Dyson looking for a workaround on the Norn issue, but the whole storyline is a big bag of inconsistencies and flaws. Trying to rationalize it is like trying to work through a time travel storyline on a CW show.

Bo moves closer and kisses him. But he pulls away with a grimace of pain on his face, claiming that he doesn’t want to try anymore.

It is so resolute like he’s decided that trying to spare her feelings is only going to give her a false hope, a hope that is more painful than just dealing with the reality of the situation. I hate it when guys give you that halfway breakup that leaves you sad and contemplating ways you could fix it, and planning what if’s in your head when you can’t sleep. I appreciate that Bo isn’t left wondering if there is anything she could do to get him back, could have done differently to make him love her again. But that is only because I have resolved myself to the plot device. It had to happen. Drawing it out is only causing pain.

The Wrap-up

Thankfully, we don’t watch Bo curl up in her closet and rock herself to sleep. Instead for the wrap-up, we head to the Dal and meet up with Trick and the Blackthorn. Intrigue is afoot. The Blackthorn is concerned that Trick is the Blood King, and that he might be making a play for a return to power. Well we know the truth of that. But they have a snappy back and forth that does help lighten the mood before we have to go back to the devastated Bo. At least Kenzi is there to help her. Kenzi tries to explain it with the Tim Effect. “Who’s Tim?” “The first guy I ever lurved. Until I found him lurving someone else…from behind.” And this is where the whole storyline crashes into unredeemable territory. The writers simultaneously want you to respect the sacrifice that Dyson made “Whatever he did, he did to protect me,” and to feel sorry for Bo because she didn’t do anything wrong and Dyson refuses to fight for her. It’s time for this no-win situation to come to an end and with it this episode. Come back next week for a fresh new nightmare. (No really, there’s a nightmare fae and a sandman and a creepy hotel with crazy humans in it. Good times!) 

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Lost Girl Recap Something Wicked This Fae Comes: What's the Worst That Could Happen?

Lost Girl 2.01 Something Wicked This Fae Comes

It’s Season 2, y’all. It gonna be a long slog, and I can’t promise you that you won’t lose a little faith along the way, but there are some bright spots—real gems in fact! So, don’t lose heart just yet. At least we don’t have to wait for it to air. Thanks, SyFy!

If you can remember that far back, last week a whole bunch of sh-t hit the fan. Bo’s momma, Aoife, sent a suicide bomber after the head of the light fae and the high council. Leaving the Ash on life support, many elders dead, and everybody else running for the hills tunnels out of Toronto. Supposedly, this was going to ignite the war between the light and the dark. Yeah, that didn’t happen so much. Bo went after Mommy Dearest to stop the light fae from killing her by getting her to turn herself in so the light fae could kill her. Luckily, Bo had two major assists in this quest: Trick wrote in his own blood to force Aoife to make nice (I’m not exactly sure what he wrote, but she stopped being a crazy b-tch and that really is the take-home message here) and Dyson went to see the Norn and bargained away his love for Bo in order to give her his strength in the battle against her mother. It was really a big misunderstanding, he thought he was giving up his wolf, but norns are trickier than the merry Trickster and he made a bad bargain. Distraught out of his mind, we last see Dyson stripping down and heading out to howl his agony at the moon in private. Yeah, yeah, he pulled a Twilight. Try not to think too hard about it. Aoife was carried away by a silhouetted man in a suit, and we don’t know what happened to her. And when we last saw Trick he was bleeding out in his desk chair. Now that we’re all caught up, let’s on to the show.

When we come back from out trip down memory lane, Bo has joined the Initiative and is stalking down storm drain pipe with Hale at her back on the trail of underfae monster-thingy pets that got loose when their owners were turned into fae-mburger.

Bo whines, “and we’re the fae SPCA, yay!” because she really doesn’t think it should be her responsibility. And for a species that lives for thousands of years, you’d think there’d be more of them, but apparently Hale and Bo are it. No wonder the light didn’t go to war, the final battle would have been two guys in a basement with a couple of swords made out of paper towel holders and flashlights. (Come on, like you never tried to make your own light sabers.)  Hale seems pretty fed up with the workload and covering for his boy and this must not be the first time because Hale hasn’t seen Dyson in 3 weeks, and now we know how long the hiatus was. He does wonder what happened between Bo and Dyson that made him take off. Bo’s swearing she didn’t do anything that drastic, when Kenzi pops up behind them with a flashlight under her chin and scares them both in a move out of summer camp.

Hale fusses that they told her to wait in the car, to which Kenzi replies, “Cars are the basements of horror movie clichés.” And we get a great wide-angle shot with horror movie cliché scream as the flying underfae bat-thing swoops in towards the group and Bo hits it with a flame thrower.  They cram what’s left of the deep fried bat into the trunk of the succmobile, when Bo starts looking a little woozy.

Kenzi helps her into the car, takes another passing shot at Dyson for not being around when they need him and heads off to get Bo “emergency takeout.” Clue, the takeout isn’t the fried chicken Kenzi was craving. It is some poor minimum wage kid working the counter at a fast food joint. Bo throws him into the bathroom kissing and touching him as he stammers about taking it slow and all the other silly phrases teenage boys learn from television that they are supposed to say to girls before pressuring them into sex. Bo is barely listening as she rips their shirts off and starts feeding on the guy.

Maybe if he had been older, more comfortable with women, it wouldn’t have seemed so predatory to me. But he isn’t, and it does. Apparently, the line on using humans for fae gain stops just shy of actually killing them. I guess we didn’t have to discuss this problem when D-man was around to satisfy Bo. But the feeding off of humans who aren’t even consenting to a regular sexual relationship before she uses her powers on them seems like something we usually wouldn’t support, especially not with Aoife’s attack on Dyson only a scant two weeks back in my memory. But buckle up it’s a brave new world we’re living in. Humans are no longer off limits. Nevertheless, the kid lives and Bo lives, and we’re off to meet the actual case of the week.

Yep, that’s right. The writers took more from Ray than just his title. The traveling circus has come to town and they are having car trouble. A tow truck driver pulls up and asks what the problem is, looking all helpful and stuff.

Then, he gets eaten by a big bald dude covered in tattoos and a serious lower jaw problem.

Lots of fae in this one. And the credits roll.

Back at the Dal, Lauren is giving Trick a check-up and remarking how well he is healing from his little writing accident, when Bo & Co. return. Trick rips his hand away from Lauren—so I’m guessing Bo doesn’t know what he did for her—affects a chipper voice, and asks how the mighty hunting trip went. They say they caught the underfae monster thingy, and that they are hoping it is the last of them. Lauren is surprised that Bo didn’t fully heal after her takeout snack (er…sexual assault?), proving once again that she has very little understanding of Bo’s powers and how much they take out of a person because Bo sarcastically admits, she thought she’d leave the poor kid alive.

Bo says she’s fine and that Lauren should be looking a little closer to home for someone to save. “When was the last time you slept?” Lauren admits that she doesn’t trust anyone else to monitor the Ash in his condition…wait wasn’t she supposed to be some put upon slave type? Let’s see: she is making all the medical decisions for the highest ranking light fae in the district, has the power to say who does what in the light fae labs, and is working herself night and day to keep the guy alive. Definitely a shrinking violet, waiting for someone to give her orders or kill her type. The romantic music plays and we are supposed to find it sweet that Lauren came to make sure Bo was okay when she obviously had important matters on her clipboard. I want to, except she was examining Trick when we got here, and there is nothing for her to do to help Bo. I promise by the end of the episode I will find something nice to say about the poor girl, for instance, her hair is so much less flat than usual. Well done, styling.

Lauren goes to take a phone call from her assistant (yep, she said assistant), and Hale tells us that tonight’s catch brings us up to 8. “Underfae, collect the whole set,” quips Kenzi with a little dance.

Yeah, still waiting on my Team Dyson T-shirts. He promised they were getting them. Okay, I’ll focus on the show. Hale proceeds to give us a little foreshadowing, with the Ash out of commission and the light fae reeling, bigger and more organized bad guys are going to start coming at them. I’m thinking too late. There is a wagon train of gypsy fae rolling into town with a light fae tow truck driver in their belly. Lauren pipes up, to tell the rest of the crew about the body dump—out of the belly and onto the road he is then. Bo and Hale roshambo for the honor of checking it out.

Bo draws the short straw. “You suck, Siren.” It’s a little whinier than the usual Dyson/Hale buddy routine, but I like Bo snarking with Hale. She turns to Lauren and recruits her too, as it might get “science-y.” The gang heads roadside to examine a body imprint from the flayed corpse, neat! Lauren deduces that the body was swallowed whole and spit back out minus the skin. Bo wonders what kind of fae feed off of skin, and Lauren reminds her that there are more kinds of nasty than just hungry fae. “There’s creepy dudes who like to make body suits out of other people’s skin,” alludes Kenzi.

Bo decides they need to find them. She notices the overabundance of tire marks in the recent mud and realizes that there were a bunch of them all together. Kenzi moves forward saying they need to find a tracker they can trust, since Dyson is out of the picture. “She said leaving an open opportunity for her friend to snark.”

Bo is past the annoyed stage of Dyson’s disappearance, she’s moved onto worried. What if he is hurt or isn’t coming back or busy shooting Underworld 5000? Kenzi rationalizes for her that they know Dyson and he just isn’t like that, plus they blew him up in the fourth one, and after all how much can a dude change in 3 weeks?

Two cops escort a beaten and bruised Dyson in the interrogation room at the cop shop. Hale steps in to take custody of our rabble-raising wolfman and give him a clean shirt. Oh, Dyson, you are beat to hell! What have you done to yourself? We only get a glimpse, but Underworld prep certainly is a good look on the guy. Hale is happy to finally have him home and knows that Bo is going to be happy to see him as well. Dyson evades the Bo issue and any explanation of why he’s been getting in fights up and down the coast for the last 3 weeks, and Hale moves onto bigger issues about the state of the light fae. As it turns out Buzz, never met an ale he didn’t like, Porter is in charge, but really Trick is the one holding it together. Hale is optimistic despite the dire look on Dyson’s face and they head out to his fervent hope of things “getting back to normal.”

Meanwhile, the girls have found themselves a less than wolfman tracker with an allergy problem who leads them to the traveling carnival. 

Even his nose is good enough to tell that the carnival isn’t what they appear on the surface: they are all fae. Bo and Kenzi walk in, name drop the Ash like it was old hat, and are told by the head carnival barker that creepy bald fae got loose and accidentally ate a dude, but the head barker is totally sorry.

Bo and Kenzi think it sounds pretty shady, but there are too many of them to take care of without backup and Trick’s approval, so to the Dal they go to report back in. But before they can get Trick’s say-so to start a war with the circus peeps, Bo catches a glimpse of a creepy little girl waiting for Harrison Ford to come save her family from the mob. She quickly disappears, but something about the sound effects tells me that we haven’t seen the last of dour Amish girl.

The atmosphere at the Dal is slightly more chipper than the last time we were there. The underfae tracking board is gone. In its place are revelers and happy Irish folk music. Buzz Porter comes in and immediately starts drinking neither porter nor ale, but definitely something from shot glass, as he tries to make merry with the crowd despite Trick fussing at him from behind the bar.

Buzz fobs off Trick’s concerns and moves away to make room for Bo to comment on Trick’s frustration level. She doesn’t get much of a chance though because Hale phones in to tell them that D-man is back. Bo is shocked and trying to process the new info, but it is pretty easy to guess where her next trip is going to take her.

Dyson is in his apartment reminiscing about losing his heart and basically wallowing in pain, when Bo storming in.

You go girl! Bo’s I’ve-been-practicing-this right hook knocks the brooding D-man back a step, but you have to hand it to him for taking it like a man who knows he totally deserved it. Bo wants to know what happened, but Dyson ducks her questions and says he was dealing with some personal stuff. Not very well if you ask me. Bo thinks she should totally rank pretty high on the What Counts As Personal to Dyson Scale, but he refuses to elaborate.

He segues onto the case, and I swear to God gets on his motorcycle inside and offers Bo a ride back to the Dal. I’m not sure if he can ride it straight out of the building like a Mini Cooper stealing gold bricks, but I would pay money to see him try. I actually would pay money just to watch him sit on it. Who knew that motorcycle maintenance could make the man even hotter?

When we get back to the Dal, Lauren has completed her preliminary report. She’s figured out that the killer was definitely fae and so was the victim—tell us something we don’t know already—but she hasn’t been able to ID the victim. That’s all for her forensic workup. Bo and Kenzi inform the group that they tracked the kill to some circus fae out by the old candy factory (creepy much?). Head barker Zale owned up to the body dump, but since he never mentioned that the kill was fae, they’re probably going to need a good shove to get any actual info out of him.

Bo offers to take Dyson there, but he declines in favor of going with Hale. Bo instantly registers the brush-off, as do Kenzi and Trick. Lauren leaves for the lab without a second glance. Trick tries to soften the blow by telling Bo he needs her help on a theory he has about the circus folk.

When Hale and Dyson get to the wagon circle, the circus peeps have skedaddled leaving their wheels and clothes and a salted trail behind them. Somebody doesn’t want to be found.

Dyson can’t track them, but he does smell the remains of our helpful tow truck driver. He fishes a bit of skin out of a fire pit and takes it to Lauren.

Lauren pops the evidence under her microscope and identifies a new wrinkle in the case: the deceased had a tattoo on the inside of his skin. Someone should have that kinda freakiness in a database somewhere, right? Hale peers into the eyepiece and gets a bit more information. The tattoo looks like a map. Now they have a motive, but no idea what the treasure is. Time to figure out where the map leads them. Dyson calls Trick to let him know, and then heads off to search through old case files with Hale. After the handy telephone hand off, we’re back in the Dal to see what Trick can do with the new information. Seems he “liberated” some of the Ash’s books for “safe-keeping.” Sure, Trickster, we trust you. Bo and Kenzi are left behind to soak in the day’s drama along with some much needed alcohol.

“Maybe something sweet, like an apology from Dyson for being le merde-face since he got back?” Bo says heck yeah. She thought she would get to be the pissy one. I say heck yeah. Kenzi seconds the thought, “That is how I have come to understand things from my education in romantic comedies. Also, girls with glasses are way smart and being klutzy is adorable.” I just can’t see Kenzi sitting around watching 27 Dresses. Can you? Regardless, the girls are upset. “It’s like he’s afraid to be alone with me.” Kenzi the sage hits the nail on the head as always, “Maybe you aren’t going to like what he has to say.” Oh, dear sweet, Bo, you aren’t going to like it, not one little bit. I am almost hoping they drag it out—keep the hope alive. But I’m a tomorrow is brand new day with no mistakes in it, soak the Band-Aid before you even peel at the edges kinda girl, and that’s not Bo.

While the girls are getting their drink on, grey-faced vaguely Asian-looking underfae carnival dude is getting his daily dose of fiber in Trick’s lair by eating all the special books that Trick stole from the Ash. He escapes down the bizarrely placed sewer tunnel in Trick’s lair before Bo can stop him. She dives after him, but he turns into rats. Meet: Tesso, rare Japanese underfae, turns into rats, powerful shamans, absorbs knowledge by consuming it. They don’t mention what happens on the other end.

Next step, figure out what books he was eating to try and devise what he was there to learn. Trick’s on it, but they have another clue: rat boy’s cape has a symbol on it identifying him as one of the sluagh. Sluagh the wandering damned, they tried to play both sides during the Great Fae War and didn’t make a lot of friends because of it. Now they are cursed to wander without rest, without a home. Sad. I don’t get it, Bo isn’t aligned either, but she has a warm comfy crack shack to call home? Oh well, the Sluagh went down to Toronto, they were looking for a something to steal. They were in a bind ‘cos they were cursed of a kind and they were looking to make a deal. The boys are going to check the fences for anything valuable, and Bo is going to learn how to cook.

Lauren drops by the clubhouse to see what Bo has managed to whip up on her hot plate (?) and wax geeky about carbs. Except she seems to be eating pasta, which is a complex carbohydrate, which your body can’t digest as quickly and has a much lower glycemic index…yeah, I didn’t think it was adorable when Lauren did it either. But some do. Luckily, carbohydrates aren’t the only thing she has to talk about. She has also identified the tow truck driver. He was a helpful road fae. When Lauren used the Ash’s access clearance code (she has a top security clearance?), she also found two other files that were related to our AAA-fae. But she didn’t get further than that before craving some quality Bo time and maybe a nap. Bo gives her a lovely protective look and Lauren settles in for a long day’s nap. After looking through some books Lauren brought, Bo finds something. The tow truck driver wasn’t just a helpful road fae, he was also a guardian, a life of servitude protecting something with your actual body.

Kenzi has stayed behind at the Dal to make sure that Trick doesn’t get too science-y himself. She rushes in and grabs the rat from under his prying hands and threatens to call PETA if he takes one more step. “I’m seriously calling PETA, or I guess FETA?”

 Trick assures Kenzi that all he has are tweezers, and they couldn’t hurt a sleeping rat. Yeah, now can he explain that to the FAA? Kenzi relents and Trick is able to pull a scrap of paper from the rat’s mouth and discover what the Tesso wanted to learn.

Uh oh. Trouble. Didn’t see that one coming. Okay, I did. There was no possible scenario in which the Sluagh were here to take in Toronto’s homeless population and save some inner city kids from gang violence by teaching them the power of Shakespeare.

Kenzi heads back to the clubhouse to share the rat’s info with Bo. Kenzi says they think the next target is the Sword of Agros. Bo pipes up that she might know who has it. Kenzi is all shocked, “how?” “Cause I’m super smart.” Ha. Wait while I catch my breath. Last episode you forgot you were a PI and now you are super smart? Oh, honey, the confidence is adorable, but don’t go telling people that okay? They hypothesize that the guardians being killed were probably guarding whatever it is the Sluagh want, but the Ash’s clearance code get them contact info for all three. Before they can formulate a plan to track down the next one, Dyson calls to let them know that the next guardian is in fact dead and whatever he had been protecting was ripped out of him. Back at the lab, they determine that Ralph (dead guardian #2) had the Sword of Agros inside him in an organic sheath along his spine—sitting must have been awkward.

It’s back to the Dal and the Trick-o-pedia for a little exposition, it feels like the episode has been dragging, so let’s pick up the pace a bit. Trick says the Sluagh need to sword to break the heart stone, a manifestation of the fae’s marriage bond with the land. It’s really metaphysical or something, but the land becomes corporeal and mates with the Ash allowing the Ash to claim the land for the light fae. It means less crime, better infrastructure, and stops the dark from overrunning the city. The homeless Sluagh want the land, which would send all the light fae into exile. Bad news for the highways and byways, and oh yeah, the humans that the dark would run roughshod over. Gotta stop the Sluagh from breaking the heartstone, except they don’t know where it is. They have to call in Buzz. While Trick does that, Hale and Kenzi start to get at the root of Dyson’s problems. “What’s been up with you, man? That time of the wolf month?” Dyson breaks his scowling façade for a minute to give Kenzi a little grin, but she isn’t folding that easily.

Hale is picking up what Kenzi is putting down. He wants to know why Dyson is off his game. Dyson relents and tells Hale that he is living a faerie tale. Hale is not impressed, “Bold move, but you just run off after?” Dyson claims shock, denial, an urge to lick his wounds in private, whatever. And then Hale gives us the greatest false hope of all, because it turns out Hale is a hopeless romantic (don’t tell him about Once Upon a Time it would break his little fae heart). “There a reason our fae tales end with a magic kiss, and your girl’s lips are super charged.”

Dyson thinks about it, but definitely seems to know better. Trick, finally, drags Buzz back to the Dal to tell them where the heart stone is. Buzz is being pretty scattered, but it is hard to tell whether he is out and out lying or just a drunk old man. The best part though is he calls on “meat bag” Kenzi to get him his glasses and a pen so he can draw them a map. Dyson’s eyebrows go up. Kenzi hops off the bar, pulls Buzz’s glasses down off of the top of his head, and says “meat bag” accusatorily at Trick who shoots back a mouthed, “I’m sorry.” She really isn’t just some random human to them, and I love how she fits in with the group. They go off and leave Dyson and Bo alone. And Bo is done being subtle. “You know what we do best? We fight, each other, the world, whatever.” She thinks that together they make a pretty unstoppable team, and “that what is needed right now. Team Badass.” She says let’s table the personal stuff. Dyson needs to put on his “big wolf pants,” so they can go kick some tail.

After Dyson changes his pants, they take Buzz’s map and head off to pick up the heart stone. Unfortunately, it is a trap. The Sluagh knew they were coming and the heart stone wasn’t even there. There’s a leak in the camp, and the leak is roughly Buzz-shaped. Buzz sold out the light fae and made a deal with the Sluagh. They get the land, Buzz gets power and position and all the carnival freaks he can handle. Realizing that he’s been caught, Buzz explains the rest of the ritual. Zale needs a major mojo power-up to be able to boink the land. So, Tesso will chant the incantation he ate at Trick’s that will funnel the energy from a group of revelers to Zale. “What crowdsorced Viagra?” Kenzi picks up that the Sluagh are going to need a sexy underground neopagan flash rave, and instantly goes to call her peeps. Love that girl.

Kenzi gets the hookup. Let’s face it, the Sluagh throw a good party. People are having a good ole time. Kenzi has a fake Mohawk that is taller than Dyson. and Pfizer’s got nothing on this group. Bo can definitely feel it. She gets distracted briefly when Kenzi pulls her away, “Do I have to cuff your muff?” The team splits up to find Tesso and Zale, but Dyson finds Bo first.  

The contrast between the beat of the music and Bo’s slow turn into him with the long deep kiss is incredibly hot. The shot keeps circling around them, and for a second, you get caught up in how much they are putting into the kiss. I forget that Dyson is trying to regain something that he gave up, until at the end he opens his eyes just a slit and instead of passion on his face you only see pain. And I crumple. There’s no magic fix, this problem is going to be lasting for a while. It’s not that I didn’t always know it was going to, but I’d tried to rationalize the possibility. I mean Bo and Dyson got all sexy sexy in episode 2! That never happens. They got together early and often and it didn’t hurt the show, didn’t kill the hotness. I don’t know how they did it, but they did, so it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that maybe they would get it back. Okay, it was. It always was. I’m going to be lucky if I see them together again before the series finale and maybe not even then. The real question now isn’t if the show can handle a happy couple and keep the heat, it’s if the show can handle a tortured Dyson and keep the relationships going the way they were. But back to the kiss. Bo is so high off of the kiss and the crowd that she is totally oblivious to Dyson. He sends her off to find Zale, who is getting his reveler-enhanced mojo on with the land. Bo stops their turning plexiglass bedroom, asking “Do you have to be THIS horny to ride this ride?”

Dyson and Hale catch up with Tesso. Hale suggests a complicated plan to take him down, but Dyson is feeling a little rough around the edges right now. He walks up and breaks the dude’s neck. Badass. Zale immediately feels the loss. Bo sends the land away. Zale tries to win Bo over to the side of Sluagh, mentioning that she too is an outcast of fae society. Bo’s not impressed by his sales pitch.

Sure he was trying to do what was best for his people, and Bo understands the outcasts, but in the end she’s finally found a home of her own, and she isn’t about to give that up for a bunch of gypsies. She succubuses away all his crowdsourced virility. The Sluagh’s plot is ended.

The Wrap-up

Trick and Dyson are sharing one last companionable drink in Trick’s lair, where Trick comes clean to Dyson about using his blood to help Bo. He worried that the Sluagh were his punishment.

Trick knows there is cost associated with his powers, but with the victory over the Sluagh, he has pushed the worry to the back burner. For Dyson, the price he paid to help Bo is gnawing at his insides without hope of reprieve. But he doesn’t talk to Trick about it. He walks upstairs to find Bo at the bar. He can put it off no longer. Bo gets a little flirty banter going. “We going to start this reunion over again?” “Depends, you gonna punch be again?” But it is all for naught. He’s not going to start this party over. Bo gets the discussion going, thanking him for his strength in fighting her mother. He tells her that it came at a cost. The norn took that which was most important to him. He didn’t even know what it was until it was gone, but price he paid was them. Bo doesn’t understand. How can a fae she’s never heard of take such an abstract concept, plus “that kiss it was—“ “Our last.” Dyson interrupts her protests and rips the Band-Aid off so fast he tears all the way down to the bone. Way to sugarcoat it, buddy. I’m shaken and I knew what was coming, had time to process. Bo looks like she gotten hit by a wrecking ball and doesn’t even know how many bones are broken yet. Dyson apologizes and runs away. I know he is in pain, so much pain he can’t even stand being in his own skin, but he could have been a little gentler with the poor girl.

There is only time for one last twist. The minute Dyson is out the door, the creepy drab Amish girl reappears.

She has come to warn Bo of impending disaster. Something old has awoken, and it is coming straight for our heroine. Well, after today, maybe mass destruction wouldn’t be all that bad.