Lost Girl Recap I Fought the Fae (And the Fae Won): Election Day

Lost Girl Episode 2.02 I Fought the Fae (And the Fae Won)

If you feel like you got hit by a ton of bricks falling off a forklift after last week’s big breakup, you aren’t the only one. And, if you are worried that our girl Bo isn’t going to be holding up too well either, you really aren’t the only one. We open this week at the clubhouse where Kenzi has recruited Hale to come unbury Bo and maybe try to put Humpty together again. “Vodka, fudge swirl, large animal tranq dart,” lists Kenzi as she collects said comfort implements. Kenzi has always known a good breakup mix. Hale thinks that maybe this is overkill until Kenzi reminds him that the last time Bo and Dyson broke up there was an explosion, a car got smashed, three furies died, and a dude got his head cut off. Yeah, and that was after a one-night stand. Who’s overreacting now, huh? “Tiny girl has got a point,” but Hale still laments having to be part of the girly girly time. Kenzi reminds him it is all his boy’s fault. “Sidekick solidarity, man. Check your contract.”

They walk into Bo’s bedroom where she seems pretty content listening to tunes, swinging on her big bedroom swing wearing deeply garish red slip. It isn’t a new fangled plastic and nylon swing either, it’s old school with a big wooden seat straight out of some kid’s tree house. When did she get a swing in her bedroom? Can the structure of the crack shack really support that sort of force? And more importantly, how do I get one? Because, it is really that awesome, of course.

Bo is pretty blasé about the whole getting dumped by her great love thing, and Kenzi is sensing mental collapse. “Danger, danger she has lost her junk [shit if you are in Canada].”

Bo says they don’t need to worry. She’s fine. Kenzi—ever the intuitive one—isn’t impressed by Bo’s claims to sanity and stability though. Even Hale thinks she’s dealing with the breakup suspiciously well. “That’s because we didn’t break up. We were broken up.” Denial it is then. Although after the no-punches-pulled talk Dyson had with her at the end of last episode, I’m not sure how she could have held onto any possible seed of doubt. It was possibly the harshest breakup ever not seen on reality television. I mean Simon is nicer to tone deaf crazy chicks trying to sing Mariah. Okay, he wasn’t that bad. But he was blunt and…terse? Yeah, let’s go with terse. Sorry, peeps, I just can’t sustain any real anger against the guy. He was in pain, and there was nothing that he could have done to soften the reality of the situation that wouldn’t have sent mixed messages. Bo is confused enough. And that is what is so tragically sad about the whole scene. Bo is talking about recognizing “real love” for the first time ever. The moment she is starts coming to grips with how much she feels for Dyson is the moment right after he walks out the door. How can the Lost Girl world be that unfair?

On a more productive front, Bo does address the elephant in the breakup: the Norn. Who Bo would be totally willing to extract her vengeance on, if she weren’t just a tiny bit scared of her phenomenal fae power. So Bo is on to plan B.

Merryweather Kenzi says blue. Fuana Hale picks pink. It is really adorable how he points at the dress and nods his head. You can totally see him dressing Bo up like a paper doll in his head. At this point, Kenzi recognizes that Bo is further gone that she initially thought. It’s time to send Hale packing, “Can you give us a second? This is kinda a girl thing.” “That is what I’ve been saying.” Hale and Kenzi are great together this episode, but it’s time for a little honest-to-honest girl talk. Once Hale is gone, Kenzi asks straight up if Bo is really okay with all of this. And Bo drops the hyper crazy tone and says of course she isn’t. However, she’s now realized that Dyson risked everything for her and his doing that meant that he really loved her. Her. “Not the sex, not the succubus, me. “ Which is something she’s never had before and something she wants to fight for.

Kenzi is all for it. 

Bo just needs a plan. Unfortunately, all she’s got is the crazy delusional voice again saying that being back at square one is a good thing, because how many couples get to fall in love twice (?!?) Right, come on, now. Great plan! Yeah, Kenzi doesn’t think it’s that promising either. “That’s it woo? Your big plan is to woo?”

Bo’s big plan takes us straight into the case of the week. Deep in the tunnels under the city, we meet a convict with a bad perm and handcuffs, who presumably is also a desperate woman in love, in the middle of a prisoner transport. The cops don’t seem like bad guys, they are “rooting for her” after all, but despite their good wishes the girl slings some quills at them and runs away. “There is something I have to do.” Desperate, check. Underestimated, check. On the loose, check.

And who better to catch her than our favorite fae detectives! The boys are back in town! Plus, Hale is everywhere this episode. Basically all they find out from the not-dead guard is that quill girl was being transported when she escaped. Hale also identified that Dyson is still having trouble dealing with things and has been out hunting…a lot. Oh, and, we time jumped, again.  

The girls meanwhile have taken the time afforded by the opening credits to get themselves to the Dal and into the middle of the action. Bo starts to ask Trick what he knows about the norn Dyson went to visit, but she’s interrupted by a few well-dressed visitors.

Meet the Blackthorn: emissary from merry old faetown, Blackthorn (like Ash) is a title not a name his real name is Il Dushane (no idea how to spell that one), he’s suave, he’s debonair, he’s dressed in fifty shades of purple. He’s here to make a proclamation. Due to incompetence that almost led to his death, the council (?) has ordered that the Ash be replaced. Line up, wannabes. It’s time for the selection games. They are like the hunger games, but you can’t eat this stag. (And I promise that is going to be my only Hunger Games jab of the recap, it really is just too obvious.) Bonus, we get to learn a little bit about the fae political structure as well. Nifty. The Dal is ready for the party. Bo likes to keep her peeps in the loop, so she calls Lauren, who is definitely not ready for the party. Lauren looks up from her microscope long enough to look truly devastated by the news.

Luckily, Hale is feeling all exposition-y back at the Dal. So he clues the girls in on the finer points of light fae elections. Let’s see, they don’t happen every day, so they are a big deal. There’s a giant feast, a stag hunt, and, if Kenzi crashes, some wenches and mead. Hale offers to take the girls as his date, but Bo declines. She throws a never-gets-old Princess Bride quote over her shoulder as she high tails it away from fae politics. “Have fun storming the castle.” Leaving us watching Dyson have a staring contest with the Blackthorn.

Something big is going down there, friends. But don’t worry, they won’t tell us what it is. The same way Bo will never again ask about the norn. Easily distracted she is.

Luckily, Kenzi is still focused on the fun stuff—parties. They arrive home with Kenzi still wondering when they stated turning down a free party—or a free anything for that matter. Bo says nothing is free when it comes to the fae and “their little reality show.” “Survivor: Fae Island. I would tune in,” Kenzi quips back. She really is pushing the party hard. But after listing all the British stuff she can think of “And Mary Poppins!” she gives in. Kenzi’s surrender is moot though, because they have a visitor: the stag.

The Surrogate Love Story

Meet Sabine: light fae, prisoner cum stag, thought love conquered all, arrested for falling for the wrong guy (aka Hammish), poison quills, doesn’t want to end up on a spit with an apple in her mouth. Her story: once upon a time when girls wore drop-waist dresses and floppy hats, she fell in love with the wrong guy. They knew it was wrong. Light and dark just don’t mix.

But they were in love, and his clan was about to marry him off to someone else. So they plotted to escape together. She was betrayed. During her capture, she fought and injured a light fae guard. She’s been in prison ever since. That is until she volunteered to sacrifice herself like a dangling chad for fae politics. She’s a willing sacrifice, but before she dies she wants to see her lover one last time. Bo agrees to help. Before she can get anywhere with the promise though, the Blackthorn’s men show up to take Sabine back into custody.

Bo stands her ground. “This is not light fae territory. Get out.” The Blackthorns men all well-built tall guys, where do they find all these extras? And could they stop south of the border every once in a while. I mean on the last episode of Glee, Matt Bomer looked tall. Nevertheless, the tall well-built, armed guard here to capture an escaped convict guys are honestly looking a little warily at Bo. Before anything rough and tumble happens though, we hear Dyson’s voice coming through the door warning Bo and ordering the guard to stand down. Sheesh, Dyson worked his way up with the Blackthorn pretty fast. He’s got his no nonsense voice on, and the guys believe him when he threatens to rip out their throats if they don’t back off while he takes care of it. They step out while Dyson convinces Bo that she’s outnumbered and in no position to go against the light fae in the matter. Bo folds pretty easily, I’m guessing to show Dyson that she’s past the difficult, I don’t wanna listen to you even if you are right phase she was in when they were together. Dyson promises Kenzi that Sabine will be protected and taken care of until the hunt. Sabine agrees that she needs to go with them, which pretty much ends the discussion. After the Blackthorn’s men leave with Sabine, Bo asks Dyson for some alone time to talk about what he told her, but it’s pretty obvious that she hasn’t grasped the idea that things are over. “Trading away your feelings to save my life. That’s a pretty messed up love letter.”

Oh Bo, sweetheart, it wasn’t a love letter. It was a desperation play that you forced him into because you wanted to pout for another day and the writers had a lot of plot holes to fill: how to get you to fight your mother alone, how to break up our favorite couple, how to weaken Dyson so that they could make Bo seem stronger. But now we’re stuck with it, and it is time to come to grips with the harsh reality. The writers just keep making it sadder because the more Bo opens up the more Dyson closes down. At least we have a surrogate love story that should end happily to live vicariously through.

Bo goes to the Ash’s compound to visit the Blackthorn and discuss Sabine’s last request. The Blackthorn seems excited to see her and slightly amused. Bo’s like an undecided voter at a townhall filled with the Tea Party and ACLU donors.

Bo doesn’t approve of fae sacrifice for sport, but the Blackthorn corrects her, ritual. As he expositions about the fae, he leads Bo to a dais where two old ladies start undressing her and holding up fabric choices. The fact that Bo comments not at all to this process must be a tribute to the fascinating point the Blackthorn is making.  He says the light fae are in need of a rebranding. All fae eat humans, it’s who they are. They just differ in the approach. The light are “most like your Native American hunters: we respect the kill, won’t over hunt, don’t kill the young.” Bo asks what that makes her. “An obnoxious vegan.” The Blackthorn explains that the stag hunt is a really a fair system. In exchange for a willing sacrifice, the stag’s crime are forgiving, they restore honor to the family name, and he/she gets to go out fighting instead of rotting away in a catacomb.

Bo shakes off the new information that Sabine is actually committing suicide and not being murdered, but she still presses forward telling the Blackthorn that she plans on getting Sabine’s lost love to her one last time, so she can say goodbye. “This isn’t me asking for permission because we both know I don’t do that.” Aw, look at Bo being all upfront and rebellious. The Blackthorn is a very good politician though, and he doesn’t flinch. Instead he hands her a box will lovely instant-made couture gown and an invitation for her and Trick to the gala.

Bo takes the gown and heads on her way with Kenzi to retrieve the wayward Romeo in this story.

He’s not much to write home about and after acting pretty shady, refuses to talk to our girls by turning invisible and slamming the nondescript industrial complex craphole of a door in their faces. The whole interaction has Bo pretty riled. And Kenzi is definitely picking up the transference that Bo is putting down. “I know you are a little sensitive-o to penis-related rejections right now.” But Bo isn’t budging, now instead of fulfilling Sabine’s dying wish to reconnect with a cowardly lover, she’s going to try save Sabine’s life and not get caught doing it. Kenzi is thrilled.

Bo’s first stop on her quest to save Sabine is to figure out what exactly she needs saving from. That means a trip to our local, lovable Trick-o-pedia. At the Dal, Trick explains that the first step to becoming the new Ash is to make it through the Gyallahaal, to which Bo quips, “Which one Jake or Maggie?” Oh, guys, remember when Jake Gyllenhaal was the big up-and-coming name and you were all like aw, he is such a cute little nerd-nik? Yeah, it was a while ago, oh well. This Gyallahaall is not a just any old party. In fact, it is the first competition to test the candidates' political acumen. Those who get enough votes move on to the stag hunt round. The competitors have to kill Sabine before she makes it to a “bell,” but apparently it’s not designed to make it that hard on them, the entire system is “canted against” the stag winning. Some “worthy prey” concept that is. While Bo searches for a loophole that won’t piss off the Blackthorn, Trick gets progressively more and more annoyed with her. He gets distracted from his annoyance, when Bo tells him that he has also received a personal invitation to the gala from the Blackthorn. But that leaves the sticky situation of trying to rig the hunt. For that, they need some old noble family–type they can exploit. Luckily, our friendly neighborhood police siren has more than one song he can sing.

Even though he starts out all, “Not happening, little mammas.” Hale folds after a little cajoling. He agrees to enter the political fray backed by Bo, Trick, and Dyson. Bo is going to incapacitate the competition and Dyson’s going to protect Hale’s back. Hale is going to siren people into voting for him. Trick doesn’t really get a part, but he looks cute escorting Bo into the festivities. So, Trick’s role is to sit there and look pretty.

It’s important for them to work as a team taking out the competition, so it’s extra good that Dyson seems to have brought along a date. What the?!

So it begins, not only is he barely in the episode, his role seems to be stalking around the background as set decoration and acting as the resident douche bag. Was that the missing ingredient in Lost Girl? Well someone thought it was, because the powers that be threw in two for the price of one.

Bo’s first target is incidentally the only Ash candidate we get to meet, so if first impressions can count for anything, he’s a total jerk, he’s not soon to be Bo’s new bestie, and he should be taken out and whipped the next time he dares wink at anyone at all, even if he has lint in his eye. Needless to say, Bo’s “talents” don’t fully work on him, and he walks away unscathed. She moves on to the other candidates where she has more success. Dyson heads off a wayward ruffie. And suddenly three Ash candidates are down for the count. The odds are looking better for our little Haley. Although, for the life of me, I can’t figure out how this prop is supposed to be working.

Meanwhile, across the party, Trick manages to corner our wayward wolf, but to no avail.

Trick wonders what Dyson’s big plan is because the avoidance ship has totally sailed—workplace romances are never a good idea. “I don’t know what to say to her, Trick.” Trick pulls the “I told you so” offense, but since, he ultimately approved of the sacrifice, I’m not sure where he gets off on this one. Plus, if Dyson hadn’t kept Trick’s counsel, Bo wouldn’t have felt betrayed and Dyson could have simply walked into the fight with her, instead of needing a magical I’m here, but I’m not here assist. Regardless, Trick’s second point is more logical: why make Bo pay for your sacrifice? “That’s not like you.” “Well, I’m not exactly me anymore am I?”

This is what I cling onto in the night, when I awaken crying for my favorite fae couple, when I watch Dyson do one mean thing after another, when I desperately need him to give anyone a warm smile. He’s not really himself. But why for all tea in the Mad Hatter’s cupboard would the writers think making a main character not themselves anymore would be a good storyline? If you can answer that, please make good use of the comments section, because it is beyond my ability to rationalize. Also, if it isn’t too much to ask, answer this: how could he not make Bo pay? The relationship is over, he can’t pretend to love her.

Dyson can’t shut up those of us wearing our Team Dyson T-shirts, but he can shut up Trick. “You’re the one that didn’t want us together, and now that that’s permanent, I’d say you’ve lost your right to complain.” Trick looks downtrodden, but he’s got a little fight left in him when the Blackthorn approaches to suss out what Trick is willing to say about Bo and her mother Aoife.

Bo takes the opportunity to have a little face to face time with Sabine, who in addition to be ritually killed the next day, has been forced to wear the most ridiculous glitter-covered frill I’ve ever seen.

Bo tells her that Hammish isn’t coming. Bo ventures to ask if maybe Sabine was wrong about Hammish’s feelings for her, but Sabine vehemently claims that he truly loved her in return, would never betray her, and if Bo knew what that sort of love was like, she wouldn’t even consider the possibility. Bo is sorry (really!) about not bringing Hammish, but she has another plan. She offers Sabine the chance to get out of her stag duties alive. Bo & Co are going to help Sabine during the hunt to win and still follow the rules. Sabine isn’t terribly interested in venturing out in the brave new world all by her lonesome. “Not every story has a happy ending.” Preaching to the Team Dyson choir, my friend. But before Bo can wallow with her, a cater waiter has an embarrassing run in with an invisible man.

Bo goes after Hammish and head butts the invisible lover. Apparently, she can see aura’s again and he’s burning pretty visibly for Sabine. Bo’s ability to “see” auras is right up there with Emma’s Once Upon a Time ability to “know” when people are lying: a convenient plot point that gets conveniently forgotten most of the time. Otherwise, wouldn’t she have seen a pretty major change in Dyson’s colors the minute he came back from his fightabout?

After a little foreplay, Bo gets Hammish to admit that he does now and always has loved Sabine, but his clan forbid it and they aren’t good peeps. Hammish isn’t bad peeps exactly, he’s just given up. But a quick smack from Bo and a reminder that if he really loved her, he’d fight for her seems to get him pondering a return to the game.

The Main Event

After a few instructions to the remaining candidates—Hale, Ashole wanna be we’ve met, and Almost Ruffier chickybo—the Blackthorn starts the hunt. Remember: sanctioned weapons only, don’t kill each other, and the stag already knows where she is going. Let the games begin!

Lots of running through the woods ensues. Sabine takes out Almost Ruffier chickybo with a few quills when Dyson catches up to her.

He’s so good at sneaking up behind people. Well, Dyson totally “come with me if you want to live’s  Sabine, and they move off. Presumably he helps her reach the bell, otherwise all he is there for is moral support. It’s not really clear how Bo is trying to help Sabine win this thing. She and Kenzi are wandering around the forest all by themselves, and how did they know where the bell was? Complex plots aren’t really a strong suit of Lost Girl. Good thing there is hot, hot romance to make up for it…oh crapballs. Don’t think about it. Back to the hunt. Sabine and Dyson finally find the bell, but so has Ashole wannabe. He takes aim with his bow and shoots at Sabine as Bo yells at her to run. There is an invisible man shimmer. Then, Sabine spins, Sabine falls. And suddenly everybody is there. Sabine is down. Dyson confirms her dead and requests the Blackthorn leave the fallen to the group of humans and unaligned fae randomly interrupting a majorly important light fae ritual. The Blackthorn complies and gets all ready to crown the new Ash, who doesn’t seem to like Bo very much. “You’re the succubus aren’t you? The one who does as she pleases? Well not anymore.” Yeah, totally love that guy.

All the officials leave in time for Hale to finally show up, Lauren to pop out of nowhere with her medical bag almost as if she knew where the bell was, and Hammish to uncloak. Lauren pulls the arrow out, takes a syringe from her bag, rears back, and stabs Sabine in the chest.

Wow, that was some injection. It obviously counteracted the poison though. Ah, tearful reunion.

Operation Woo

We’re back at the clubhouse and Dyson has come by for their “talk.” There is sad, romantic music, and even Bo looks uncomfortable at the skimpiness of her black negligee.

Dyson looks so sad when he comes in and sees Bo putting herself out there like this. He tries to explain, but she cuts him off. Bo has a few things on her mind. First, a thank you for the risks her took to save her life. Second, an apology for being stubborn about accepting how great they were together. God, I’m about to cry as she goes through it. All Bo really wants is to start over, try again, get back what they had. Dyson takes the wine glasses with a mixture of pain and resolution on his face. “This is my fault.” You bet it is. Well, you and insane writers, but also you. “I told you once that wolves mate for life. Well, I gave that love you. And I don’t regret it. But the Norn took it.” And his voice is cracking with the effort of it all.

Bo claims she understands the deal he made with the Norn, but it is clear she doesn’t. “She made you stop feeling what we had, Dyson. She didn’t make me.” Which is what makes it all the sadder, when she keeps talking about starting over. All the while Dyson is trying to tell her that he never gets to start over again.  It’s like an algebra problem to her. There is a train leaving station A. On it is a man who has one love. A crazy old hag comes and takes that love. How much love does the man have? You have to give credit to Bo though—she is stubborn. Plus, I’d have liked to see Dyson looking for a workaround on the Norn issue, but the whole storyline is a big bag of inconsistencies and flaws. Trying to rationalize it is like trying to work through a time travel storyline on a CW show.

Bo moves closer and kisses him. But he pulls away with a grimace of pain on his face, claiming that he doesn’t want to try anymore.

It is so resolute like he’s decided that trying to spare her feelings is only going to give her a false hope, a hope that is more painful than just dealing with the reality of the situation. I hate it when guys give you that halfway breakup that leaves you sad and contemplating ways you could fix it, and planning what if’s in your head when you can’t sleep. I appreciate that Bo isn’t left wondering if there is anything she could do to get him back, could have done differently to make him love her again. But that is only because I have resolved myself to the plot device. It had to happen. Drawing it out is only causing pain.

The Wrap-up

Thankfully, we don’t watch Bo curl up in her closet and rock herself to sleep. Instead for the wrap-up, we head to the Dal and meet up with Trick and the Blackthorn. Intrigue is afoot. The Blackthorn is concerned that Trick is the Blood King, and that he might be making a play for a return to power. Well we know the truth of that. But they have a snappy back and forth that does help lighten the mood before we have to go back to the devastated Bo. At least Kenzi is there to help her. Kenzi tries to explain it with the Tim Effect. “Who’s Tim?” “The first guy I ever lurved. Until I found him lurving someone else…from behind.” And this is where the whole storyline crashes into unredeemable territory. The writers simultaneously want you to respect the sacrifice that Dyson made “Whatever he did, he did to protect me,” and to feel sorry for Bo because she didn’t do anything wrong and Dyson refuses to fight for her. It’s time for this no-win situation to come to an end and with it this episode. Come back next week for a fresh new nightmare. (No really, there’s a nightmare fae and a sandman and a creepy hotel with crazy humans in it. Good times!)