Lost Girl Recap Faetal Justice: High Noon in Fae Town

Lost Girl Episode 1.11 Faetal Justice

In case you missed all the wonderful promos, I thought we should start out with photo of what this episode is really about: gratuitous shirtless Dyson. And sweet, sweet Susan, am I grateful.

Okay, I am in fact aware that those words have different etymologies, and I will admit that the episode isn’t actually about Dyson being half-naked. Although note to producers, that seems like a bang-up plot idea for season 3. The episode is about trust and loyalty with a deadly dark fae dance club backdrop. That’s right boys and girls, we’re going dark side. And Dyson is our tour guide.

We open in Vex’s club with some pretty cool Circ de Soleil hula hoop swinging dancers and some not so cool plastic torch lights from the local car wash. Dyson’s threatening an alarmingly large, butch bad guy named Ba’al (put away your horns, sadistic psychopath, not the actual devil). Vex comes over and suggests Dyson take a hike. Wolfman doesn’t back down easy, but he does head for the exit. Creepy bald-cap Ba'al suggests they all have “some fun.” So we shoot over to Kenzi and Bo cooking at the clubhouse. Turns out Bo doesn’t know much about her peeps, nor Kenzi about cooking chili, but what they’d really like to get their hands on is Dyson Dyson’s book of secrets. Being more of drink their supper gals, they head to the Dal to grill Trick about Dyson.

Meanwhile, Ba'al is leaving Carpe Noctem (that’s Seize the Night for all us non-Latin reading viewers), but he’s being clocked by a yellow-eyed wolf, who chases him into an alley and rips his throat out. Oh no, D-man, what have you done? The titles distract us just long enough for my stomach to truly knot up. We’re still in killing zone alley when we come back, but someone’s taken Dyson out with the trash and stolen his shirt. His furry face is caked in blood and he’s rubbing his head in confusion, and we’re ignoring the fact that if Dyson had wolfed out and killed Ba’al how did he come to with his pants and shoes on?

As Trick is warning the girls that curiosity killed the cat isn’t just an expression, one big question walks into the Dal and calls for sanctuary.

The girls run to him and start with the petting. We’re supposed to register concern, but I think we all know the real endgame here. Now about those pants … Dyson assures them he’s OK, the blood belongs to a dead dark fae psycho. That’s enough for Kenzi and Bo, but Trick knows the implications of an unsanctioned hit against the dark. The phone rings, and it’s Hale asking about D-man’s choice of Kongs. Dyson doesn’t remember what happened, but he’s pretty confident he’s being set up. The Ash wants him to turn himself over, Trick tells us that he’d just be killed, and Bo asks about due process, which is definitely not the way the fae roll. Can anyone say, civilized? I’m guessing there is no Fae & Order: Toronto. That leaves the unaligned Bo the best person to investigate. Dyson hesitates. Ba’al worked for Vex, and Vex is still gunning for a bit of Bo payback. Bo promises, “I am not going to do anything stupid.” Kenzi takes stupidity backup patrol. And Dyson is left wondering, “Yeah, and who’s gonna make sure you don’t do anything stupid?” What’s the worst that could happen?

The girls head off to combine forces with Hale, who is not happy to see them. He accepts that they are both on the side of helping Dyson and that a flailing Bo isn’t anything anyone wants to see. He tells us that there were three witnesses: Portia, human runaway; Silas, a fae bartender; and Vex, the club owner. Both girls are super happy to see Vex again. Hale: “You already had the pleasure?”  Kenzi: “And the pleasure just about killed her.” Hale is Mr. Relationship Exposition this episode. This is one of the moments when he realizes that Bo is willing to take risks to protect Dyson and that it isn’t just a one-way street. Lost Girl does friendship almost as well as they do sexy, sexy wolfmen. Hale’s protectiveness over Dyson and suspicion of Bo is just another way of telling the audience that the Bo/Dyson relationship is developing into something more than just healing buddies, and I love that they use him in such a natural way to do it.

With Hale's assist, the girls head out to seize the night and rock a little PI by questioning the witnesses. First up is Silas the bartender. He saw them arguing and is pretty sure the cop killed Ba’al. But, before the questioning goes too far, Vex shows up. He’s intrigued by our murderous, unaligned “love machine,” and invites her to stay. Ah, flattery, it will get you everywhere. Bo’s not interested in Vex’s idea of lining up clubbers for a picnic. All banter aside, Vex knows that Dyson had a motive to kill Ba’al,  and isn’t so convinced of his innocence. With two witnesses down, that just leaves Portia to discount the story. Vex won’t help them find her, but he does leave the door open for them to stay.

Kenzi stays behind to find Portia, and Bo goes back to the Dal to find out more about Dyson’s history with Ba’al. At the Dal, Dyson has cleaned off the blood, but luckily Trick’s not his size, so he’s waiting for Bo to bring him clean clothes. He’s looking pretty touchable, so Bo starts with the questioning with a side of light stroking. This time her focus is on the stop-my-heart-gorgeous back tattoo.

Dyson claims it is a history of battles he’s been in and lords he’s had fealty to written in Lycanthrope. Bo says that must mean he’s killed a lot of people. Dyson wonders if she thinks he did it too. She assures him she doesn't. And my Vampire Diaries-watching self is pretty blasé. What’s one psycho here or there? This is a lethal world they live in—I’m more interested in motive, and I trust that D-man had a good one. We find out that Ba’al and Dyson had a history. Years ago, Dyson was tracking a series of human murders and came across Ba’al, who was running with a fae street gang called the Red Caps. They wear red caps, but since the dye is coming from their victims’ blood, I’m guessing they should be called Muddy Brown Caps with fly accents. Dyson went after Ba’al to get some justice, but Ba’al got the drop on him and he almost died. “Did I have a reason to kill him? Yes. Did I want to kill him? Yes. But why yesterday? Why would I do it in front of the whole world?” Bo can’t argue with that, but is determined to find out what happened and “bring justice to Fae Town.” Before we can find some wine and a mouse trap to go with the cheese, the Morrigan walks in to mock it for us.

She’s brought her henchman to wrest Dyson from the protection of sanctuary, but they aren’t going easy. Trick goes all Road House and pulls out a double-barrel shotgun and ends the fight. Before the Morrigan can mount Dyson’s head to her wall, she’s going to have to go through proper channels. There’s the “civilized” we’ve been missing all episode. Unfortunately, proper channels is really backroom dealing and calling in favors, and Dyson doesn’t want Trick to burn all his friendships for him or put himself in the Morrigan’s way. He wants to get out there and do something. Bo understands how hard it is for him to watch and wait, but recognizes that he’s dead meat if he leaves the Dal. She pulls the trust card, then threatens to drain him into staying put. It’s a refreshing change of pace from the way protector males are usually portrayed: he doesn’t take her power play seriously, but is still able to let his ego go long enough to take both her advice and some comfort in her concern. They match up well strength for strength with Dyson perfectly willing to let Bo do her thing and accept her help. He’s not sitting idly by though. He asks Trick about a memory fae called a kirin, and Trick moves to track one down.

Lucky for Dyson, Kenzi is still on the investigation too. A boy with the worst eyeliner job I have ever seen approaches her at Carpe Noctem and starts to bring his emo game. Kenzi looks the part, but isn’t down with the lines, so she gets her lead on Portia and blows him off. She so snarky, you almost feel bad for the guy—I mean he had the guts to hit on her in the first place, and that’s saying something because she is fiercely hot. “Sad now, but we shall meet again in the eternal void.”

Bo’s found her way back to the police station to see if Hale has come up with any more leads. He hasn’t. Ba’al’s got too many enemies to even start looking into. And he was pretty loyal to Vex. Even worse, Dyson may have more enemies than Ba’al. “In case you haven’t noticed, our boy has a short fuse…and big teeth.” They don’t have much on the other witnesses, but Lauren arrives to provide absolutely no new information. Things are still tense with Bo. She shows us a crime scene photo that we’ve already seen and says the bite is consistent with a canine. They are still working on the hair analysis. It could all match Dyson, but he’d need to turn himself in to get an impression made and submit to tests. Bo and Hale think this is the worst possible idea, and I’m right on board, from what I’ve heard this episode the dark will have him strung up and gutted before the plaster dries on the tooth mold. Lauren leaves to “keep working on it,” since she’s done so much far, I don’t have high hopes that we’ll CSI Dyson out of this one. The back and forth on how to help Dyson has warmed Hale up to Bo being on the case--and by Dyson’s side--though. “Dyson is a particular kinda man. A man like him will give up too much for someone he cares for. Sometimes everything. I worry about him getting in too deep. Thought you might be bad for him.”

They come to a good place. And Bo takes off to meet back up with Kenzi. Before she does, we cut back to the Dal and start our second power and position trip of the evening. The Ash wants Dyson to give up sanctuary and turn himself over for procedure and politics and the greater good. Trick isn’t having it, even on the Ash’s order. “You should be very certain of your own grasp on power before you start attacking others.” The Ash doesn’t like that answer or the stony glare he’s getting from a disobedient Trick. He looks to Dyson who just cocks his head. With that one move, all the cards are on the table: Dyson doesn’t take his orders from the Ash.

Kenzi has finally found her way to Portia. They instantly bond as runaway street kids who wear a lot of black and have horrible hair extensions. Kenzi gets Portia’s witness statement that she saw a wolf kill Ba’al. She is very certain and not the least unwilling blame a werewolf for the murder and have that be the end of it. Unrealistic? Not as unrealistic as her acting job, but still. Kenzi offers her a place to crash to make up for pretending to be her friend to get her statement. Self-preservation your name isn’t Portia takes her up on it. She takes her back to the clubhouse, and as she’s getting ready for bed, we see her back covered in slash marks. “You look like you just lost a fight to Freddy Kruegar!” Oh yeah, and she doesn’t remember how it happened. Bo goes into the club to reinterview Silas and Vex. Vex has some fun with his Bo puppet, and as smarmy as he is, he is also pretty adamant that he didn’t kill Ba’al.

That being a dead end, she returns to see what Dyson got from the memory fae. Unfortunately, the kirin says his memories are gone and they aren’t coming back. All they’ve got is a lead from the last phone call Dyson took before he left work: an art dealer. Since Dyson isn’t much for the art scene, it’s worth tracking down. Bo uses her special skills to wrest the story from the art dealer: he frequented Vex’s club and liked pain games. Vex and Ba’al ran a room for guys like him in the basement, but when they took it too far and killed a girl, he called the police and they hooked him up with Dyson. When Bo tells Hale, Hale remembers the girl’s description and they determine that the dead girl was light fae. Things are starting to add up, but like Portia’s memory there are some big holes.

Things are really starting to move now. Trick is calling some guy on the phone a chicken before hanging up angrily. Dyson doesn’t want Trick to throw away any more for him than he already has. Apparently his “short fuse” is all burned out. He grabs his jacket and, despite Trick’s protests, is out the door to find out what happened. Bo is close behind him, stopping first to work things out with Kenzi at the clubhouse. Portia has disappeared, but Bo finds her selective memory awfully convenient. Given that she has no survival instinct they divine that she’s probably returned to the club.

Dyson’s gotten there first. He goes underground looking for Vex and attacks.

Before he can get any answers, the Morrigan arrives with her henchmen. They carry him away to threats against Trick and Bo if he fights back. They string him up in torture room and start with the questions. Turns out the Morrigan doesn’t really care about Ba’al—she wants info on Bo. “Well, you know what she knows.” “But not as much as you know,” counters the Morrigan. She’s a sharp cookie. Vex moves to torture to see if he’ll crumble.

Bo and Kenzi are giving girls gone wild a whole new name as they charge into the now closed club looking for Portia and answers. They find Portia strapped to a chair in a room covered in red foil wrapping paper. She swears she’s okay because Silas would never let anything happen to her. All the while rubbing the bracelet she stole from Silas’s place. For once Bo puts the pieces together. The bracelet’s writing is also in Lycanthrope. Silas is a wolf shifter and now we have someone else to pin the murder on. Time to find Dyson.

They’re still torturing him when Bo & Co rush in. They run through the whole story. Silas loved Portia. Since he didn’t want Ba’al to kill her, he took the opportunity of Dyson going all rage-tastic on Ba’al to roofie him, knock him out, kill Ba’al, and get Portia to say that she saw Dyson do it. Hale has been called, there’s the small matter of the dead light fae girl to consider, and the Morrigan doesn’t want a war. So before you know it, Bo & Co are headed out.

The Wrapup

Back at the Dal, the Ash has returned to say the dark caught who killed Ba’al and are dropping their action against Dyson. Dyson gives Bo a look of amusement and pride, “Well they do some good work sometimes.” Awww, team badass wins again. Dyson thanks Trick for his support. As he and Bo are walking out, he thanks her too. “I need to thank you more than anyone. You were always so sure I didn’t do it.” Turns out, Bo doesn’t need to know every last detail about Dyson’s history. “I know you.” “Yeah, I think I know you, too.” Big themes today: trust and loyalty, power and politics. And oh yeah, one last kiss.

 

Side note: because we’ve all been talking about the tattoo and madly stalking Kris Holden-Ried on the Internet, we know the back one is real, but he’s not sharing what it actually says. Privacy? What’s that?

Questions:

1.       Not a quipy episode, but favorite line of the night?

2.       What exactly is in a black orgasm?

3.       Does it disturb anyone else to see Dyson drink something purple with a straw?

Lost Girl Recap The Mourning After: With Friends Like These, Who Needs Fae-nemies?

Lost Girl Episode 1.10 The Mourning After

Another week, another night in with wine and weapons. It’s Friday night at the clubhouse, and our hot, hot single ladies Bo and Kenzi are cleaning their weapons. Kenzi questions whether Bo wouldn’t rather be waxing Mr. D-man instead of a machete, thereby letting the audience know that we’ve time jumped again and Bo and Dyson are back together, sorta. They are in limbo. Bo says, “We’re great together and everything, but we’re also a LOT of work.” Yeah, they always do seem to get a good workout in. Bo asks Kenzi to “hand her the six inch.” “Honey, if I could give you the six inch, all our problems could be solved.” Yes, Kenzi scores before the opening credits, and the quipy Gods are smiling. They take aim at a practice dummy they stole from Urban Outfitters, and work on knife throwing while holding a nice glass of merlot—this is a skill they definitely use on a regular basis. Kenzi thinks they should get out more, but Bo feels like she’s tried, and let’s face it, “The dating scene is killer.”

And to prove her point, we meet a nice girl who is about to be killed. Sad, all she wanted was a drink and “workout” with a nice man she met outside a bar who doesn’t spend the night. Men. She goes to take a bath and is starting to look out of it. Ominous music plays as she writes slut, whore, and more in lipstick on her bath window to nowhere before turning on her hairdryer and “dropping” it into the bathtub. Don’t they have special plugs on those now, so you can’t, like, do that exact thing?

Now for the ten thousand dollar question: suicide or murder? Well, our favorite fae detectives are here to say, suicide. Door was locked from the inside, no signs of forced entry, not a whiff of foul play. “Still that’s one hell of a suicide note.” Hey, they are running a human case for once—or are they? Because graffiti girl’s sister says no way, murder. Sis was happy, strong, and mentally stable. Well as stable as normal people get, and normal people just don’t go scribbling on the bathroom wall before getting up close and electrical with their hairdryers. The sister begs Bo to help her prove Dyson & Co wrong because Bo’s flyers say she’ll take cases no one else will. Bo is guilted into accepting the case, after all she did put those flyers out in the first place. And the dynamic duo is off to the police station to visit Mr. Dyson.

He tells them not to get their hopes up—he did the workup himself (no wonder he’s been too busy for Bo) and the crime scene was pretty clean. He shows her the police file including shots of the killer hairdryer with a broken shaft. Kenzi gets a good chuckle out of it, but because Hale is nowhere to be found for the rest of the episode, no one is there to jest with her. Bo wonders if someone could have forced graffiti girl’s hand, and Kenzi reminds her that mysterious stranger would have been electrocuted as well. Kenzi brains and banter. Bo pushes for fae involvement. And Dyson leaves the door open for her, barely. It’s been ruled a suicide, the humans are happy, and he ain’t pushing further to make a case that’s he’s just going to have to turn around and bury. He’d “love” to help Bo out, but best he can do is send his evidence off to the fae labs. “That means you’ll have to talk to Lauren.” It is pretty easy to see who is on the shit list and who isn’t at this point. Dyson is comfortable, chewing gum and grinning at Bo. Bo is squirming at the thought and looks to Kenzi as buffer. Kenzi doesn’t even make eye contact, “No, no, that is just way to awkward without beer. You’re on your own, sista.“

Bo puts on her big girl pants and goes to Lauren’s lab. When she gets there, she stands as far as away as the camera shot will let her, making it perfectly clear all is not right in the world between Bo and Lauren. Onto the case, Lauren’s lab techs say suicide, but fae feeding isn’t totally impossible. Oh yeah and graffiti girl had sex before she died. It “appeared” consensual. Bo isn’t letting the opportunity pass her by, “Not so sure I trust your judgment on sexual matters.” And Lauren has the audacity to sound surprised, “Pardon?” Really girl? How is the view from that high horse of yours? “Let’s say, hypothetically, one party thought the connection was real, and then found out that the other party was just manipulating them into to bed to impress their controlling ass-hat of a boss?” Well said, Bo. Now, if I were Lauren, I would start with an apology for messing with Bo’s feelings and manipulating her in the Ash’s name. But, so it goes, I’m not Lauren and apologies aren’t on the menu. “Do you really think we weren’t headed that way on our own anyway?” Bo isn’t having it and goes to leave, but Lauren tries to squeeze in the final word, “I don’t know how many different ways I can tell you that I’m sorry.” I would personally start with the words “I’m sorry” and follow that up with taking responsibility for my actions for once, but I’m not Lauren and Bo is out the door.

Kenzi is at the Dal, hilariously pleading with Trick for alcohol, but Trick is too distracted to be more than passingly annoyed. He hands over the bottle as a little man in a long coat walks in and calls him out. “Fitzpatrick McCorrigan of clan Finn Arven.” Kenzi downs her first shot and looks concerned, “Uh oh, trouble in the Shire!” The troublemaker is here early to get something, and Trick isn’t letting go. Trouble “I know your full name” Valentine is coming back tomorrow, “Midnight, then, and don’t be late. You know the consequences.” Kenzi is wicked curious, but the newly arrived Bo drags her out of the bar screaming to go investigate the case of the week.

Kenzi finds a credit card pattern and they head to a local douche bar, where they divine that graffiti girl was speed dating there on Friday nights. Undercover they go. Kenzi is trying to “meet nice man” so she can “send chicken back to momma,” when another succubus sits down across from Bo and gives her a kiss. Kenzi: “Brrr-gina.”

Meet Saskia: succubus, dark fae, knowledgeable on all things succubi, new in town, and not interested in turf war. After a few bumps explaining her lack of protocol, Bo makes a new friend. Kenzi is not feeling the newcomer, and it is hard to say whether it is all because Saskia is an unknown, sketchy, catty slut or if a bit of it is jealousy at how quickly Bo bonds with the new girl. It doesn’t help that Bo instantly starts sucking up to Saskia and downplaying her current life. Bo stays behind to get to know Saskia, and Kenzi goes looking for a friendlier bar. Again she’s back to bother too-busy Trick with her woes. “Are you listening to me?” “No, Kenzi, shocking news from Galileo, you’re not actually the center of the universe.” Kenzi moves to storm off, but Trick quickly apologizes and asks for her help.

Trick and Valentine have a timeshare arrangement with a mystical, bring you luck in business coin, but before Trick can turn it over to Valentine, he has to find it. And to do that, he needs help from a human female. Don’t worry it’s not a virgin sacrifice thing, Kenzi just has to “talk” to a certain fae that only likes human females. I’m sure Kenzi will charm the faents off of them.

Bo enlists Saskia’s help with the case and with her succubus learning curve. Bo shows off her succubus skills to get the list of speed daters from Bertram at the bar, who seems really helpful and fond of graffiti girl, and they head back to the clubhouse. Bo sends over the list to Dyson and asks for a favor. She asks nicely, and he says he’ll take a look. Saskia is not fond of Bo’s house. “What is your box broken?” She also drops an interesting bit of fae science on her, Bo’s mother or father or both were probably sex chi eaters. Genetics is tricky. Kenzi comes out and breaks up the party. She can’t figure out why Bo is so quick to trust Saskia with the case and, well, everything else. Poor Kens, Bo replaced her lickety-split with the first fae she found ‘cause Saskia is going to meet up with the client tomorrow, and no Kenzi is not invited.  Before they can get there though, someone else is knocking on the client’s door. We don’t see who it is, but the terrified scream tells you pretty much what you need to know.

Bo starts her day with a coffee and bit of Dyson. He looked into her leads and found nothing, but he’s not without resources of his own and he trusts her instincts. He kept digging and identified several more cases with similar graffiti, not a coincidence. Since it’s probably fae, his help would have to be off the books. “If you need my help, I’m there.” Dyson is a smiley cutie today—his eyes are even crinkling. This whole happy relationship thing is really good on him. She turns down his offer, though. “You need me, you call.” You know we will.

Bo and her new bestie head to meet the client, who based on her visitor last night probably isn’t going to have much to offer. In fact she doesn’t, she’s OD’d. Saskia recognizes the graffiti and tells Bo to hightail it outta there. They’re facing an albaster. Albasters are the natural enemy of succubi: they generate and feed off of sexual shame and like to target women. Suck! Better find this one stat. Baby fae like Bo is totally outmatched. Kenzi throws out some helpful investigation skills that put Bo and Saskia on the track of “nice guy” we last graffiti girl with and heads out to work her own side storyline.

In Trick’s lair, Trick has assembled all his ingredients for the spell to find the coin, and all Kenzi’s got to do is talk a lightning bird out of one of her eggs. Kenzi will do her best because Trick’s collateral for the coin is the Dal Riata itself. Lock up your shiny objects, it’s about to thunder and lightning in here. But before the bird arrives, Kenzi decides to negotiate a little something for herself. After some excellent back and forth, they settle on free drinks for life—a unicorn just wasn’t in the cards. Kenzi plays the Jamaican lightning bird perfectly while an incredulous Trick looks on. The lightning bird is so comfortable with Kenzi that before she leaves she drops some information Kenzi probably wasn’t meant to know. “He could get anything he wanted if he just started writing in his book of blood again. The most powerful are always the most stubborn.” The Blood King thing isn’t going away anytime soon.

Bo and Saskia find “nice guy” pickup artist and pick him up without much trouble. They succubus the heck out of him and decide he’s human and he didn’t kill graffiti girl #1. Saskia shows Bo that you can blow chi back into someone, thereby blowing Bo’s mind, but won’t tell her how to do it.

Trick casts the spell and locates the coin in a cemetery, but calls in Hale for backup muscle before they go. They go looking but can’t find it. Kenzi realizes that the spell told them where the coin was at that exact moment, but since it isn’t there now, it must be on the move. A wreath of flowers on the crypt is the final clue she needs. When Valentine comes into the Dal, Kenzi stops him, “Admit it you pulled a Dutch heffer.” Valentine is confused. “A Boston fandango?” She looks for help from the audience, but con language is beyond them. Kenzi’s exposition will have to be done without the appropriate jargon then. Valentine pulled a fast con. He gave Trick a disappearing fake a hundred years ago and kept the real coin for himself. Valentine relents before Hale can manhandle him for the coin. Kenzi saves the day. It is really nice to see her holding her own in the fae world and making friends outside of Bo. She has great vibes with Trick and Hale and Dyson that are totally independent of Bo. Yay, Kenzi.

Meanwhile, Bo’s arrived home only to discover that Bertram is the albaster and he’s come for her. Bo isn’t a match for him, but Saskia stops by when Bo didn’t answer her phone. They attack him together and tie him up. There’s a lot of discussion about shame and hypocrisy, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. Bo goes to call Dyson, but the minute her back is turned Saskia succubuses Bertram to death. She hangs up and begs Saskia to bring him back. “He’ll die.” “Gee I hope so, otherwise I’m losing my touch.” He’s dark fae, Dyson can’t touch him, and Saskia will be in trouble for attacking one of her own clan without permission. Bo feels like it’s murder and doesn’t want any part of it but won’t narc on Saskia. Saskia won’t fix it and goes to leave, but she wants Bo to come with her, “when you are ready to learn more about yourself come find me.” This is really the point where Bo starts to question her nature. She’s finally realizing that Saskia might not be what she wants to be when she grows up. Dyson calls back and Bo begs for help.

The Wrap-up

In Lauren’s lab, we find that Bertram is dead, Bo is taking responsibility for the kill, Lauren is holding a medical file, and Dyson is thinking practically. Since Bertram is dark fae, it is complicated, but even the dark agree that you have a right to defend yourself in your own home. Dyson will make that clear to the Morrigan. He’s worried for her, but he doesn’t have all the information. “I’ll handle this, Bo. I’ll make it all go away,” he says softly. Bo isn’t worried about the political ramifications though, “I wish you could,” she says and hugs him briefly. This is the first time we’ve seen her look to him for comfort, but it is short-lived. She pushes him away and leaves him confused and worried about her.

At the Dal, Trick finally has time for Kenzi. He comes to ask her what’s going on. Kenzi says Bo is making new friends. Trick recycles some Kenzi wisdom and advises her to not let Bo take her for granted. Kenzi drops the info the lightning bird told her and Trick plays it off. She’s wise to his play though, “Takes a con to know a con. You have secrets, Trickster.”

Kenzi goes home to remind Bo why she needs her, but Bo has already realized that Kenzi is more important to her than she was giving Kenzi credit for. Bo starts to listen to Kenzi’s story but is quickly pulled back into her head and thought of Saskia. Something tells me we haven’t seen the end of Bo’s little succubus playmate.

Questions:
1. What was your favorite Kenzi/Trick line of the night?
2. Chest waxing: instant douche or a nice sign of grooming?
3.  Is Saskia someone you would like to party with?

Lost Girl Recap Fae Day: It's Good to Be King

Lost Girl Season 1 Episode 9: Fae Day

After last week’s “Vexed,” it is hard to come back down to earth, especially for Bo. Last week her entire fae world was flipped upside down and shaken like a snow globe. But here we are. At the clubhouse, Bo has sword in hand and is working the pre-dawn calisthenics.  What better way to shake off the dust, huh? Turns out Bo has decided that the whole Lou Ann/Vex incident never happened. Oh yeah, and she needs a break from “the fae and their shit.” Kenzi agrees, but since Bo’s fae pals are blowing up her voice mail, she thinks Bo should at least make an appearance at the Dal to get them off her back.

Cue the Fae and Their Shit

There’s a party going on at the Dal. Trick is all dressed up, there are garlands on the bar and a happy harpist is plucking away in the corner. Okay, “it’s not a party.” It’s La Shoshain: a spiritual fae holiday to commemorate the Blood King and the rule of law, and oh yeah, it’s the one time of the year light and dark fae can get up close and personal.  Bow chicka wow wow. Trick is glad to finally see Bo again, but still a bit concerned about her. She thanks him for his help, but says what she really needs is a vacation. “Fae-cation,” quips Kenzi. I love the fae flavor Kenzi adds to the episode. Trick’s not sure what he thinks about Bo stepping away from the Fae, but he hopes that the Fae Day (thank you, Kenzi) festival will help. His hopes are dashed, however, when the harpist banshee wails and promptly runs for the hills. Banshees predict death and they don’t take it back. Uh oh. “Someone in here is going to die, and soon.” Cue titles and dramatic tension.

When we come back, jolly old Trick is gone. He is herding the last of the revelers out of the Dal and he is not happy—he even snarks a little at Bo. Only the noble families (5 fae and 5 human) can stay, but don’t worry the first round is on the house. With the banshee to find, Trick calls in his main lieutenant to handle the crisis. Dyson ambles in and for once doesn’t dominate the entire room just with this presence. He is very subdued this episode, mainly quiet, watching and waiting.

“Haven’t seen you in a while.” Dyson meets Bo softly. “I needed some space.” As the episode progresses, we see all his walls are down. He’s reaching out to Bo, subtly: watching in her in off moments, standing too close, giving her “you’re the only thing in the room” smiles. After admitting that he cared last episode, it seems like Dyson is accepting that he wants Bo despite Trick’s objections and now is trying to figure out how to act around her.

Trick hands Dyson information on how to find the harpist banshee, so that he and Bo can make she tell them who is going to die. Dyson tells Bo he can’t feed, use his gifts, or use violence on La Shoshain, so secular Bo has to come and do it for him. Bo hasn’t forgotten the last time she asked Dyson for a favor and he made her “ask nice,” although she does seem to be conveniently forgetting that he saved her life sometime after that.  “Ah, ask nicely. Say please.” Dyson doesn’t give her the satisfaction though, “You don’t know who your family is. Maybe you have noble blood. Maybe the banshee wailed for you.” “Close enough.” Bo agrees to help. Kenzi declines to come in favor of eating everything in sight, and Trick storms off. Before they leave, Dyson goes to check on Trick.

Down in Trick’s lair, Trick is bagging up clothes and linens from an overnight guest: Lou Ann. She just left to go into hiding. Dyson is perplexed that Trick would help the dark, but Trick tells Dyson that she was the midwife at Bo’s birth. Apparently, Dyson doesn’t know that much after all, these are all Trick’s secrets. Secrets that Dyson wants Trick to start sharing. Now that he’s dropped the pretense of not caring about Bo, he wants to stop lying to her as well. Trick fired back, “You chose to get emotionally involved.” “Maybe you should too.” And then we get a name: Aoife. Dyson wants to know what they will do if she comes. Trick says it’s not an “if” but a “when,” and when she comes, “there will be a reckoning.”

Dyson and Bo are off to find the banshee and Bo is baiting Dyson pretty consistently. “I thought you couldn’t use electricity on La Shoshain.” He doesn’t bite down though. “Rules are specific: no powers, no fae-on-fae violence, no feeding on humans. It’s all about sacrifice.” Bo thinks the Blood King’s sacrifice sounds bloody, heavy, and nonspecific. She’s looking for Dyson to tell her the story. “Bo, read a book.” Dyson’s not usually much with the comic timing, mainly he’s here to look pretty and beat people up (because he is just sooooo good at it), but he nails our Cosmo girl with that one. They get to the agent’s office and the banshee harpist is hiding the agent’s closet, but a poorly timed sneeze gives her away.  Dyson magically pulls out a blender and slice of meat to use to get the banshee to talk—really those pants are pretty tight, where was he keeping that stuff?

While they force-feed the harpist a liver shake to make her give them the name, Kenzi is making new friends back at the Dal. There’s nothing like gambling and death to bring people together. Kenzi’s new friend is teaching her a game that involves dice, Roman numerals, and wedding gifts that not even lucky pigs can steal. They are cute together, he is uptight and Kenzi is irreverent. “Joking about accounting fraud is like joking about a bomb on a plane.” And on that note, Dyson and Bo return to announce the name of the nobleman for whom the banshee wailed. Seann Cavanagh, aka, Kenzi’s new little friend. Sad. Trick is more than sad, he is definitely upset about something, he’s even snipping at Bo, but he gives her a book on La Shoshain to catch her up and keep her from bugging him.

Kenzi suggests Seann make a bucket list. Item number one on the list is to reconcile with his dark fae brother, Liam, who turned his back on the light fae family more than 80 years ago. Where Seann attracts wealth and does the books for various charities in town, Liam feeds on human greed and runs stock market scams. Bo agrees to help, but Kenzi decides to stay with Seann, leaving Bo backup-less. She turns to Dyson and flashes a bit of cleavage. After a downing a shot, Dyson agrees, giving Bo an “I’d do anything you ever asked of me” smile. No one can withstand a succubus in a v-neck t-shirt and push-up bra. They find the brother, Liam, at the offices of his latest toppling pyramid scheme. There are bags of shredded paper and a human being dragged away by security as he yells that Liam ruined his life. Liam doesn’t care. When Bo meets him, he’s slimy and not at all interested in reconciliation. From his POV, it was all Seann’s fault and Bo doesn’t know the whole story. So back to the Dal, she goes to get it.

At the Dal, Kenzi is watching Seann play darts as he has the band play the same song over and over again. “When does the lame-o-go-round stop. I wanna get off before I puke!” She implores Seann to think “big.” Big for Seann is hitting on the nearest waitress. It doesn’t go well, but he takes it with a smile. This guy is just too nice and resigned. I feel like I would be a lot more bitter if I just found out I was going to die. Seann is obviously a better “human” being than I am. Bo and Dyson return to get the whole story. Liam was the screw-up younger brother, “parties, stealing, getting into scraps.” Eighty years ago, Liam was given the responsibility for keeping the books at the investment office. One weekend $30,000 went missing. Seann turned his little brother in for stealing it. Liam rebelled by running off and joining the dark fae. Seann just wants his brother to know he still loves him. Kenzi hopes that maybe the banshee was wrong, but the odds don’t look good for Seann when a giant chandelier falls from the ceiling and narrowly misses squashing the whole lot.

After the quick brush with the chandelier, Kenzi decides that Seann has some “gonzo” living to do and the Dal is not the place for that. A Mercedes is the place for that. Okay, for the record you cannot hotwire that car that easily, but it plays nicely on screen as Kenzi and Seann drive off to temp fiery mangled death.
 

Bo and Dyson go to stake out Liam’s building to see if they can get him to change his mind. Dyson sips from a silver flask. The drunker he gets, the more pensive he becomes. By this time, he has almost worked up the courage to say what he means. But don’t hold your breath, he never quite gets there. “Bo—“ She interrupts saying she knows this isn’t his ideal La Shoshain. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.” He replies out the window and Bo completely misses the sincerity. He tries again, more explicit this time, “Bo, I want you to know. I do what I can to protect you.” “I know. I trust you without a second thought.” Good enough for wolf boy.

Kenzi and Seann have reached their next destination: his father’s house, aka mansion. Being noble rocks. Dad is outside on a gorgeous patio surrounded by hydrangeas, reading the paper, and drinking a very fun looking blue liquor. He immediately asks Seann if they had an appointment and you realize what kind of family Seann came from. That this sweetie of a guy has a dad and brother like these two is either highly improbable or his mother was a saint. Seann says that a banshee wailed for him and that he just wanted to say goodbye. The dad asks him to get his affairs in order, and Seann sorta tells him off saying he’s got some crazy living to get in before sundown. But you get the impression that his affairs are already in order, because Seann is nothing if not organized. Seann leaves, the dad tries some half-assed explanation that his sons are too sensitive, and Kenzi takes up the fight. She noticed the “important work” the dad thought was worth more than talking to his soon-to-be-dead son. He’s betting on the fights. “Bobby Bell, he’s a long-shot loser. He’s old and tired, and has no heart whatsoever.” Cross “telling off dad” off the list and move on. Kenzi and Seann head back to the clubhouse.

Bo is reading Trick’s book about La Shoshain and giving Dyson all the details that he already knows because a) he’s fae and b) he lived through it. Liam comes out the building and goes to his car. Bo intercedes and succubuses him to get him to tell her why he doesn’t want to see his brother. Turns out Liam put out a hit on Seann for ruining his life. With this revelation, enter goblin. They have no respect for human or fae laws, but they do like inflicting pain, and they’ll work on La Shoshain. It’s like Chinese takeout on Christmas. The goblin is pretty cool, it disappears and appears randomly around the clubhouse busting through doors and seeming pretty menacing. Seann is willing to give himself up to a gruesome death to protect Kenzi, but she wants to fight. She gives the little nerd-nik a kiss for courage, but it’s not needed because Bo and Dyson show up. The goblin catches both unawares and takes Dyson out with a swift punch to his drunken throat. Bo gets a couple of hits in before the goblin pulls out a sword and goes to beat her with it. Dyson shoots him. I love that the mythology here allows firearms and that apparently Dyson’s aim is pretty good. “I thought you weren’t allowed to use violence today,” Bo wonders when she gets over to him. “Only to protect a life.” The goblin gets up for a second and Dyson drops him with a fourth bullet. Bo thinks this is all too complicated for words, but for Dyson, “it’s pretty intuitive.” Awww.

Seems Liam was way out of line calling an unsanctioned hit against the light on the most sacred of fae holidays, so Dyson tells Bo to play it by the book and the Ash take care of the politics and the goblin corpse. But who is going to take care of Seann? He’s run off. With Bo’s crossbow.

Seann catches up to Liam at his office and they spar about collateral damage and following the rules and valuing people long enough for Bo to get there in invoke Agallamh: special fae peace talks. Everybody keeps looking at her like she’s crazy. “I read it in Trick’s book. I can get the book!” Dyson steps in, “we know what it is.” Apparently nobody has invoked Agallamh in forever. “Want to know why?” Dyson asks. “Probably not.” “Because the person who calls for the talks forfeits her life if they fail.” Uh oh, silly La Shoshain and sacrifice. “Really should’ve skipped to the end, huh?”

The Agallamh

Trick has hit a new level of mad. Not only is Bo probably going to get herself killed, but she’s not respecting the traditions and values of the fae. “It’s a distillation of everything the Blood King stood for!” “That’s why I need your help to do it right.” Trick relents and they start the ceremony, but not before we realize that Bo needs an executioner if the talks fail (or sundown hits and Seann dies). Dyson steps forward and the music tells us that this is a heavy emotional moment. The Agallamh opens and the brothers proceed to argue about whether or not Liam took the money. “Dad gave the combination of the safe to nobody but us!” Liam calls for closure, but Kenzi has the big book of ritual and that street smart brain of hers. She asks Bo to stall for time, she’s got a plan. Bo calls for a recess, “smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.” Tension is high, might Dyson really kill our Bo? Trick stalks away, but Dyson stops him, “You could save her,” he whispers. Trick goes to his lair and opens up the roll of pens and knives that we last saw when Kenzi was sick and nosing around. Trick looks serious and pained, but unsure. The Agallamh reconvenes and Bo stalls for time. Kenzi returns in the nick of time with Papa Cavanagh. Kenzi put two and two together pretty quickly. If neither of the brothers took the money, the gambling dad probably did. He let Liam take the fall to save face in front of his wife. He didn’t think that Liam would run off an join the dark. Seann relents that he was mistaken to accuse his brother and offers the symbol of the birthright to his younger brother as a sacrifice. Liam acknowledges it m, promises to return the money he ripped off, and says if Papa Cavanagh will move the mother’s grave to neutral ground he’ll call of the hit. The brothers reconcile. Dyson and Trick look proud. Kenzi runs and gives Seann a big hug. The group leaves the Dal happy to have beaten the banshee. Bo is cozy with the fae again. And the brothers are, well, brothers. Until the human from Liam’s office rounds the corner screaming about his money and shoots at Liam. Seann steps in the way and is killed.  

Wrapping It All Up

There is a sweet moment back at the clubhouse with Kenzi missing her new friend. She has the game they were playing in front of her and she rolls the dice. “Lucky pig wins everything but the wedding gifts.” Then she breaks down in tears. Poor, Kenzi. You really feel for her. She tried to reach out and connect with someone and now they are dead and she’s too hurt to pretend to be blasé about this time. She is more fragile than she acts.

In Trick’s lair, Trick and Dyson are having a drink and Dyson is trying to convince Trick that Bo is special and she can handle what he needs to tell her. We also see that Dyson isn’t the only one who has become emotionally connected to Bo. “Would you have killed her?” “Would you have used your blood to save her?” “She’s strong.” “I’m not ready.” Dyson thinks she could amount to something. Trick hopes not because those who rise to prominence tends to bring a great deal of pain on themselves. Dyson offers one last toast, “To the Blood King, and all you’ve sacrificed.” Secrets, secrets Trickster.  Given that Trick is lying to the world about who he is, I feel like he’s playing a long game here that has fate and the greater good all tied up in it, so if that mean he can’t tell Bo everything she might want to know, so be it. Trick’s got more secrets than start and end with Bo.

On another note, I can never figure out with this show whether they were thinking about going down the “prophesied savior/uniter/future ruler” route with Bo and then dropped it leaving behind echoes of the old plan, or if it is more of a family mystery that will be slowly unfolded as Bo discovers her roots and all these clues will again meet up, just on a personal scale. But that is a question for another week.

Lost Girl Recap: Vexed: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Lost Girl Season 1 Episode 8: Vexed

Welcome to the hottest two-minute opening still fit for basic cable. Rewind if you need to. I’ll wait. Ready? Okay. The opening splits between shots of an injured Bo making her way to Dyson’s loft and Dyson working out on a heavy bag. Any opening that features Dyson hitting something is a winner in my book. Her shoes are hotness made manifest. He’s not wearing a shirt until he strides across the loft and throws one on. I could watch this man dress and undress for a week straight. Oh, sorry, distracted. If we remember from last episode, Dyson had laid down an ultimatum: if Bo needed to heal, she was to go to Lauren. We know that time seems to pass between episodes, but we don’t know how much or what’s gone down until Dyson opens the door and tells the bleeding Bo, “I’m busy.” And it is cold. Well, as cold as his furry hotness can be, because man does he look tormented. She pleads, “Last time, I promise.” She kisses his neck. “Please?” He gives in. I’ll let you play the rest in your head, but “conflicted” would be the nice way to describe the rest of the scene. Bo is taking and Dyson seems to be at the limit of what he is willing to give. These aren’t the same friends with benefits from the earlier episodes—something dark has come between them.

Dyson is looking pensive when Bo wakes and goes to leave. He puts on a smile and makes small talk in softened voice, but the tension is still there, especially, when she mentions Lauren. It feels like they’ve had this conversation before and both are weary of it. “Leave it already.” “She’s just leading you on. She’s never gonna love you.” Like you do, Dyson? The subtext is so heavy it could bring down the Titanic, but Bo doesn’t acknowledge it. Maybe because Dyson is still unwilling to vocalize that he cares or maybe she can’t see it the way she could never see how much she hurt him with their previous arrangement. Either way it doesn’t matter, Bo picked who she wanted to trust. Dyson gives her the final ultimatum. This is the last time. “I meant what I said.” All the gentleness is gone, he is ice cold again.

I’m still reeling from sadness of the previous scene, as Bo and Kenzi enter an abandoned building. Bo complains that Dyson is being a girl. “What because wolf-boy is tired of you life sucking him whenever the mood hits?” Kenzi replies for a bit of perspective. She tells Bo that she needs to choose a team, but Bo refuses. Before they come to a resolution, they find the contact they were looking for—hanging from the ceiling. “We really need to start hanging out with a better class of people.”

Meet Siegfried: dark fae vampire (really?) and a little lynching can’t kill him. Bo trades some blood for a rumor that a death row inmate has information about her mother. Kenzi is skeptical, but Bo is desperate, and desperation wins out over street smarts. Bo and Kenzi are headed to the US to learn something from a woman who allegedly killed her children. Before she goes though, she has time for a quick doctor’s appointment. Lauren continues her long tradition of not telling Bo anything that might make her look bad, when Bo compliments her necklace and Lauren fails to identify it as the Ash’s mark. They flirt for a bit and Lauren questions Bo about her sex life. While Lauren is happy to know Bo is taking it slow, she is less happy to hear that Bo has a buddy for sexual healing. Bo gets hurt all the time, how did Lauren think she was still alive if she didn’t have a fae partner? Or is she that out of touch that she isn’t aware of just how often Bo injures herself? I vote for the latter, but maybe she never considered it. In the Bo-Lauren dynamic, Bo is the strong one, the protector. Lauren isn’t conscious of the danger Bo puts herself in the way children never realize the difficulties their parents go through. As “her doctor,” Lauren would be happier with someone less “well travelled.” Really? You want to pull out the medical professional card right before you snark about your patient’s sexual partners for your own ends? Worst doctor ever.

Lamenting Lauren showing her fangs, Bo and Kenzi (is that her real hair!?!) go all Criminal Minds in their search for Luanne, our death row inmate. At the jail, Bo instantly recognizes her as fae, but Luanne is pretty cagey. Bo leaves pissed off and determined to figure out why Siegfried sent her on this wild fae chase. Before she can get closure though, Siegfried meets the episode’s titular character: Vex. Turns out Vex can make people do what he wants (awesome power!) and he wants to make Siegfried suffer for spilling “family secrets.” He’s wearing a lot leather and a wicked baby-faced grin and sporting a couple of star tattoos, making him a whimsical psychopath puppet master. You know what happens when Siegfried is forced to go after the knife in the garbage disposal, but they aren’t giving you the graphic details here. What Lost Girl does really well is play off of the genre knowledge of its audience, like in the basement initiation in the sorority house. In this case, we know how it is going to end right from the beginning so the gruesome emotional turmoil sets in long before the noise of the garbage disposal does. Nicely played LG, nicely played.

Apparently, Siegfried can withstand a lynching, but having his heart ripped out was the death of him. No vampire dusting mythology here though. There’s a plenty bloody body left behind for Dyson and the cops to examine. Bo shows up at the crime scene where she is quickly whisked out of earshot by Dyson. He is not happy to see her, and he is not happy to hear she’s chasing another lead about her mother. Bo says she is “entitled to some answers.” Dyson relents and asks what the tip was. Bo tells him about little miss death row, and he tells her she’s dark fae and that Bo needs to back off. Bo thinks that someone killing Siegfried before she could get to him means something and asks for the police files to prove it. “Ask nice,” Dyson growls. I wouldn’t exactly call Bo’s tone “nice,” but there is a “pretty, pretty please” buried in there somewhere. Dyson warns her it is her last favor, and from the look on Bo’s face, I’m inclined to believe him. My heart breaks a little bit further. But when we fast forward to the clubhouse, the sight of Kenzi with blond curly hair is enough to get me to the next commercial break without crying.  Kenzi and Bo go through the police files and conjecture that Luanne and Siegfried were somehow forced into doing things: Luanne drowning her kids and Siegfried cutting out his own heart. All together now: fae.

Bo circles back to Luanne filled with righteous indignation. Luanne tells her story: falling in love with a human, pulling away from her clan, the dark punishing her to send a message. It’s touching how she keeps humanizing the children she lost. “Lucas, Jacob, and Cody! They have names.” Poor, Luanne. The dark don’t like coming in second. Bo thinks she and Luanne are connected somehow, so she is going to go to the Ash to try and get him to intercede.

Lauren is worried that Bo won’t be polite enough to the Ash. What a silly concern. Of course, she isn’t going to be charming or polite or brief. Well, she might be brief, assuming he doesn’t throw her in the dungeon.  The meeting goes about as well as expected: the Ash refuses to intercede and Bo doesn’t keep her cool. Except Bo gets a subtle little threat in at the end. She’s off to try the dark fae. Welcome back, Myer. My favorite elderly kingpin of a “middle management” mob family. He’s so familiar he could be my blankie from 1982. He tells Bo that he doesn’t have enough reach to touch death row before she even asks, and then, informs the startled Bo that she’s “not so good with subtlety.” Apparently, people are watching our little succubus. Dun, dun, duh. Time to start being careful, Bo. Myer explains the politics of the situation and how the fae felt slighted when Luanne chose humans. Bo asks for Myer to let her know who set up little miss death row, and he promises to look into it, but not before being the third or fourth person to warn Bo off of this little crusade.

It’s been a long day for Bo, and what better way to unwind than to take a bath while Kenzi saves the world from robot hookers—you’re welcome. With the world safe, Bo’s bath is looking really relaxing up until the original slayer shows up to make her put cheese on her head. No, wait, no cheese slices and she is a Morragh who wants to kill Bo—that’s not nearly so charming. After nearly drowning and generally getting her ass kicked for a while, Bo narrowly avoids death and manages to electrocute the original slayer Morragh. Kenzi issues her greatest line of the night, “it smells like fried bi----.” Bo is pretty beat up and she’s got Kentucky fried bad buy in her bath water, so she calls Dyson. I’m a little surprised that he comes, but there’s his inner wolf again not saying no even when the rest of him is screaming to get out of the path of self-destruction. He tells her it wasn’t an elder-sanctioned hit, “If that’d been an official hit they would’ve have sent more than just one. Your powers are too unknown for them to risk anything but a major assault.” Ruh, roh. I’m listening to Dyson and the no nonsense lecture is chilling. Kenzi even looks freaked out. Bo wonders why it is okay for someone to just try to kill her, “Isn’t there some general fae rule about not knocking each other off? Dyson tells her that that doesn’t apply if she doesn’t pick a side, she’s fair game for anyone she pisses off. And let’s face it, Bo isn’t a tread softly kind of girl. “So I have to be owned to be free?” “No, just to stay breathin’.” Which Bo obviously refuses to accept in a mad self-deluded way. She lashes back at Dyson that maybe he hasn’t tried to have it any other way. Dyson is dead-eyed serious, “I’ve tried.” I feel like this is one series theme that has been barely touched, and there is a goldmine of opportunity here. It’s more than petulance on Bo’s side. It’s about having the freedom to make your own decisions, to love who you want to love, and to live your life for yourself. Dyson relents and offers to let Bo stay with him—she needs more healing than Lauren can provide. Bo isn’t taking it though, “I needed your help tonight, not your pity.”

The next morning she heads to Trick for advice. Once she mentions her bathtub buddy, Trick takes her in back.

Meanwhile, the “I’m Batman” Ash tells Lauren that he knows about her unsanctioned activities, but assumes they were in the light fae’s best interests. Lauren is stammering and walking after him with a kicked-dog kind of posture that almost makes you feel sorry for her, but since we still don’t know how she got here in the first place, I’m not seeing a lot of reason she couldn’t just leave or at least assert herself in a less cringing manner. Especially after the last scene with Dyson, when Bo accused him of not trying hard enough to be free. After some plot explication, the Ash tells Lauren that Vex is the one Bo is looking for, but he’s going to negotiate to get him out of town. He wants Lauren to use the relationship she’s built up on his behalf and go “entertain” Bo until he can get it done. “She’s a succubus…I’m sure you can think of some way to distract her.” Nice, are you local government or a pimp?

Back at the Dal, Bo is asking the Trick-o-pedia all her questions. Starting with the necklace that Lauren wears. It’s the Ash’s mark. “Fae elders don’t employ humans, they own them.” Again we see the push and pull between freedom and protection. And apparently Lauren has lost the tug-of-war. Turns out of Trick-o-pedia has real encyclopedias also, as he drops a heavy book of fae mythology in response to Bo’s request. “I’d also like a pony,” she teases back. He tells her that Morraghs feed off of rage and that Bo has upset someone, unfortunately Bo has her “I’m rubber and you’re glue” ears on and she ignores Trick as well. Luckily, Trick has something better than unheaded advice to give: a siracon. One handed sword. Fully automatic. Made of unicorn horn. And happy to see Bo. Yeah, it’s BADASS.

Bo takes her new toy and heads back to the clubhouse, where Lauren has stopped by for a drink. And wooboy Lauren really dolled herself up for her big seduction scene. Okay, she didn’t. Maybe we can chip in and get the poor girl a hair dryer and some volumizer? Lauren asks why Bo is identifying so much with Luanne. We’re back to the big themes boys and girls: the right to choose your life.  Bo is adamant about going after the fae responsible, so Lauren switches in to good prostitute mode and proceeds to distract Bo. It’s a success and she doesn’t die, and Bo sweetly pulls off the necklace and tells her that “no one owns you.” But, Bo is still determined to go. Lauren begs her to stay and says she’s doing what she can politically, but she needs more time. Bo is heartbroken when she realizes that Lauren is in her bed as a diversion sent by the Ash. I’m feeling bad for Lauren—she obviously is trying to protect Bo in the only way she knows how, ie, relying on the Ash—right up until she says “I haven’t done anything wrong!” Seriously!! B—tch. Before the damage is fully done, Lauren accidentally gives Bo the missing piece to her revenge on a unicorn sword puzzle by telling her Vex’s name. Bo is ready for a fight. All she’s got left to do is arm up and call in a dark fae debt to get Vex’s location.

Enter deadly dark fae dance club, with kinky puppet master MCing. After a little banter, Bo is prepped a knife fight, but Vex twists it around on her.

Kenzi and Dyson are playing pool at the Dal. Dyson is winning. “What the balls, man. Are you cheating?” “Nope. Just genetically superior.” Lauren runs in all freaked out and nowhere to go but Dyson. “It’s a Mesmer named Vex. He’s too strong for her, Dyson.” “Where.” Nothing else, well save a very expressive snear. Too strong for a very well armed Bo, and Dyson puts down his pool cue and walks headfirst into it. How genetically superior is he exactly?

As Bo is stabbing herself in hopefully a non-vital organ, Vex suffers from a sudden attack of Bond Villan Syndrome. He starts baiting Bo, who reaches behind her and grabs hold of the siracon. “Uh oh. Puppet cut her strings,” coos Bo as she knocks Vex back into the scenery. He hasn’t lost the sense that he could care less what Bo threatens, but he has resorted to buying time with lies. He knows about her mother, apparently Siegfried spilled more than blood. The lie isn’t very convincing to anyone who isn’t ten shades of crazy desperate, but Vex doesn’t need to buy much with it. Dyson arrives and pulls her off Vex and holds her back. I mean he just picks her up and moves her. Efficient.

“If you kill him, they won’t stop until you’re dead.” Vex’s cockiness makes sense, no one would dare touch him not with the entirety of the dark fae elders behind him. She’s way out on the jagged edge now. She pushes the point of the siracon into Dyson’s chin. “I don’t care.” “I do.” He lowers his chin and stares her down. He never flinches, he never blinks, and Bo finally backs down. “He was the only lead that I had left to her.” “He was lying to you, Bo.” And as much I was loving Dyson right then and how he marched straight into serious danger without hesitation and finally said that he cared, he erased almost all of it when he lied and said no one knows anything about her mother. He got a little bit back when he walked out. Usually at this point the protector guy wants to melodrama all over everything and drive home that the rebellious main character was being reckless and prove his original point that she should listen to him, like he’s going to get a calm rational response or a thank you or something. Dyson just walks away and leaves Bo to deal with her shit however she needs to. Kenzi takes her home.

And just so we don’t end the episode liking any of Bo’s allies, we cut to Trick who has apparently interceded in Luanne’s execution. “We need to talk,” he tells the woman climbing out of the body bag. Bam!

1.       Who should Bo forgive first: Trick, Dyson, or Lauren?

2.       Which would you rather fight robot hookers or a morragh?

3.       Would you want to spend time at Vex’s club?

Lost Girl Recap: ArachnoFaebia: Can I Get One of Those Invites?

Lost Girl Season 1 Episode 7: ArachnoFaebia

Welcome back to the Lost Girl clubhouse. This week starts with Kenzi getting her flirt on with a Kellan Lutz look-a-like delivery boy when Bo steps in and totally crimps her style. Bo turns on the succubus charm, and he leaves without getting paid looking like he’d finally met R. Patz. Kenzi sets off on a good, and in my opinion totally deserved pout, and the two devolve into their very first fight. Kenzi is messy, Bo is a boy hog. There is a nice sister-sister vibe that rings true, right up until Bo backs down in a fit of very unsister-like understanding. In my family there would have been more hair pulling. Bo’s happy for their first fight like a real family, to which Kenzi replies, “For walking Viagra, you are such a nerd.”

Kenzi one-liner score=1.

Their “aww” banter must be about to take a lethal turn, because we cut to two other sisters fighting and a little foreshadowing. They look like sweet old ladies, until one stabs the other with her knitting needles. Then, we follow a long string of yarn that has the neighborhood cats twitching and meet our creature of the week: a giant black and red spider.

We’re back, and Kenzi has a side venture going on that involves dressing like a gypsy and her “big” dream catcher. I’m sensing a con of some sort. And my fingers-crossed dreams are answered when they show up at 1600 Murder Ave and Kenzi starts talking with a Russian accent to a perky realtor. You are really good when you can make “namaste” sound Slavic. The sweet sister murder cottage needs a cleansing, and Kenzi is just the shaman to perform it. After racking up some more one liner points, Kenzi proceeds to earn some spending money. While she dances with a sage stick and rhymes, Dyson and Hale work the neighborhood. Dyson is concerned that something fae is responsible for the series of murder-suicides they’re tracking. Hale is feeling a little cynical today and dismisses his partner’s hunch, but is still willing to point out the only interesting thing he’s found in the neighborhood: Bo’s car.  Kenzi collects her commission, her purse, and her next life-threatening plot twist, as the spider has crawled into her purse looking for another tasty duo of feuding housemates.

Bo and Kenzi exit the house to find our favorite detectives lounging on their car. “I smell bacon,” Kenzi quips, bringing her total up to 5. Dyson has really got his wolf on in this episode, and it is all about marking territory. But let’s be clear, as far as I’m concerned he’s welcome to stake out pretty much whatever catches his fancy. The boys light up brighter than the paint job on Bo’s car, and you can really feel the energy these four have with each other. Dyson gives Bo an appreciative wolf whistles and grins through the rest of their too-cute banter.  “Relax it’s not a marriage proposal.” “I already sent out the invites.” I want one. No, really, I WANT one. Bo agrees to meet up later at the Dal to help Dyson with his case.

At the Dal, Dyson lays out the case for Bo, including some snide humans are barbarians comments, and she agrees to see if any of her dark fae contacts know anything. It’s cute to see Bo helping Dyson for once, but when did she get dark fae contacts? It’s clear that a lot is supposed to be happening in this world that we never get to see.

Enter Lauren: “Am I late or early?” Is that code for “Bo, you aren’t allowed to talk to anyone else. You should be waiting quietly for me”? Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but this salutation seemed a bit passive aggressive. There’s not much passive about Dyson’s response or the rest of the scene. It is deliciously confrontational. Lauren continues her plan to monopolize Bo by never being nice to anyone else around her, “Are you leaving?” “What and miss this?” Dyson stretches out on the couch, and we are reminded again of an alpha dog claiming space. Bo decides that the best way to make Lauren feel comfortable is to insult Dyson, act snooty, and drink a lot of alcohol. Her plan goes swimmingly. To Dyson, “Scootch over.” “I don’t scootch.” “Come on you’re part wolf, I’m sure we can find him a carpet or something.” I’m trying not to picture Dyson on a carpet, in front of fire…when Bo makes her next foray into conversation saying that they’ve never all hung out before, “it’s like a threesome. Not that I’ve thought of it that way or anything.” Sure you haven’t honey, sure. We pan across the room to Kenzi and Hale talking at the bar. Keeping both groups in the shot reminds you again of how much is going on in the Lost Girl universe that we never get to see and also does a great job of highlighting Hale’s comments amount running with the alpha dog. Kenzi is upset about Bo being oblivious to other people’s feelings, but Hale is picking up on jealous undertones in there as well. With tensions high, it is time for the episode bad guy to get involved, so it promptly bites Kenzi, sending her home with a headache.

Back to the threesome, Lauren, surprisingly, goes on the offensive. I give her points for balls, but the only weight she’s throwing around is her boss’s, which doesn’t seem to impress Dyson that much. “The Ash requires it.” “Well, then he can call me himself.” “We’re on the same side, Dyson.” “No, you’re a human that works for my side.” Lauren name drops the Ash once more, managing to find a chinch in Dyson’s armor, “Are you questioning my fealty?” You bet your bottom dollar she was. She was like a Fox News anchor asking if a Democrat could actually love the US of A. I wasn’t expecting Lauren to hold her own for this long, so props to her. Plus, she has a great “if only I could shoot icicle lasers out of my eyeballs” glare. Dyson reminds Lauren that she can’t do anything without the Ash’s permission and takes the day and the couch, but doesn’t pick up a lot of points with Bo for his behavior.

Back at the clubhouse, the spider bite is definitely taking its toll on Kenzi, but it hasn’t hurt her quick wit. “So, did you pick a lover? Or did Dr. Freeze and Canine Crotch fight to death?” Kenzi doles out wisdom that any 13-year-old-girl should already know: guys can get territorial. Kenzi takes the rest of the conversation with three more one liner points. Now, it is Bo’s turn to meet the episode baddy and in a terrifying shower scene, the spider bites her. I’m taking baths for a week.

The next day, the spider effects are hitting Kenzi hard and Bo’s not doing too much better. Kenzi is hallucinating creepy sound effects that have you looking out for a kid on a big wheel and her asking Bo, “Did you bring home elves last night? I’m not judging I just want to know.” Ah, Kenzi another point for you. Even though Kenzi is self-medicating with sugary breakfast cereal with vitamins and minerals, but “no Vicodin,” she recommends a trip to Dr. Lauren for Bo.

Bo goes to see Lauren for a checkup. And after dismissing that two patients who live together are exhibiting the exact same symptoms as being medically relevant, I have to stick with Kenzi when she says, “Med school worth every dime.” Well done, Dr. Lauren. Elsewhere, Dyson won’t give up on his case, and he’s found a tenuous link between all the victims and now is getting the evidence boxes from the other jurisdictions. Bo drops off her list of possible suspects and exhibits enough red flags for Dyson to become concerned about her. It’s another near miss in Helping Bo Land because Hale has found something in the evidence boxes that calls Dyson away: cobwebs. Lots of cobwebs. Dyson ties it all together with what Bo said about the cottage in need of a cleansing and decides it must be fae.

Away to the fae labs, and delectably Dr. Lauren, to investigate. Fortunately, Lauren is better with a microscope than she is with a patient and can tell with a glance that the webbing is 800x stronger than silk and very complex. Fae it is, then, was there ever any doubt? While they wait for the cell analysis, we get the saddest physical ever. First our shockingly unprofessional Dr. Lauren is surprised to note that supernaturally fast, extra strong wolf-boy has “excellent” reflexes. You don’t say. Are we really testing this relative to human expectations? She then proceeds to use her position as a doctor as a chance to get a few digs in on the competition while she’s got him vulnerable and half-naked on her turf. Just kidding, he is neither vulnerable nor half-naked. Although how you do a proper physical without even removing your patient’s tie is beyond me. First she asks about Dyson’s therapy sessions and then brings up that Bo has mentioned that Dyson has been tired lately. Because apparently, Bo “knows she can talk to” her. And also that Lauren has no concept of confidentiality. She needs to take another look at the Fae-HIPPA. Dyson hedges and admits he’s tired, but it’s Bo’s fault, and if she wants to know more than that, she’ll have to get it from Bo herself. Touché. So the physical was a ruse and the best we got was two buttons unbuttoned. No wonder he’s been blowing her off.

Back at the clubhouse, Kenzi has met the enemy and it is a giant-ass spider. She and Bo head towards the basement to take care of it, neither in a very rationale state of mind. They muck around in the cobweb-covered basement and decide that escaping the spider is a better plan and run to the door only to find it bricked over. Uh oh! We pull back to see the clear blue sky and that they are only imagining it. Even worse!

Lauren gets the cell analysis and calls Dyson to tell him the results, but not before going around him and pushing the alarm. It’s starting to look like Bo is going to get caught in the Dr. Freeze/Canine Crotch crossfire. Wonder who will figure out first that Bo is in trouble? Lauren has identified the spider as a djieiene a Native American underfae that feeds off of freaked out pheromones and makes people kill each other. Dyson quickly puts two and two together and realizes that Bo’s red flags all point to spider infestation. Well done, doc, for reading the symptoms out loud and not connecting them with two of your patients from earlier in the day. She must be HMO. She gets no love from me, because she gets off the phone with Dyson and promptly tells the security team that Bo is infected and needs to be eradicated, even though she has no idea how to kill the spider or if Bo could have been saved.

Not knowing that Lauren has called in the hit squad, Dyson sends Hale ahead to save the girls. Siren skills have proven useful with crazy chicks in previous episodes, so I have high hopes. Instead of sirening them though, he tries to talk Kenzi down, “Take deep lady breaths, that’s a cute sword,” and gets a frying pan to the head for his trouble. They tie Hale up, and Bo realizes that she’s sick. She needs to feed. Watch out, Kenzi! “Can I offer you a pastry?” “I’m not that kind of hungry sweetheart.” Kenzi runs and Bo turns to Hale to sate her needs. Did our triangle just turn into a quadrilateral? Bo instantly feels better and bolts to the door to go get help, but runs into the scary security lady instead who tells her she can’t leave. Dyson finally gets to the clubhouse, and it turns out he knows security chicky. He pulls some “old time’s sake” strings and gets two hours before they kill Bo, Hale, and Kenzi. Dyson certainly got around in his day. Wow. Bo goes straight to number one on her speed dial for help: Dyson. She tells him she fed off of Hale and is feeling better. Dyson’s not sure he likes her feeding off his bestie, but since Hale’s still alive, there are bigger fish to fry. Dyson tells her he is outside and working on saving her. “That’s why you are my favorite stalker.” Mine too, sweetheart, mine too, if only he know where I lived. Dyson goes to look for information, and Bo moves to the basement to kill the spider, but not before Hale comes too long enough to helplessly watch as the spider bites him.

Dyson finds Lauren with the Trick-o-pedia and instantly calls her out for using her position to try and get Bo killed. She explains that the djieiene is a really nasty creature, and Trick backs her up. Dyson calls, “bullshit.” And I agree. It’s one thing to contain the creature, but to call in a hit when you have no idea how to kill it is pretty silly. Dyson isn’t thinking of black-and-white protocol, he’s thinking of Bo. And when I’m looking for a protector-type, putting my best interests first is a major plus.

Just as Bo is learning firsthand that the spider can’t be killed, Trick translates that the spider buries its heart—kill the heart, kill the spider. Ignore the cheerleader. So squashing it won’t work and probably neither will fire, and still Lauren doesn’t call off the hit. Dyson pulls out the list from Bo and Trick recognizes the name of a dark fae pet shop owner who hasn’t been around in a few months. Dyson leaves to follow the lead and Lauren tags along. She can “identify the heart” apparently.

Back in casa de crazy, Kenzi goes on the offensive and locks Bo in the basement. Thinking that Hale knows a secret way out since he got in somehow, she promises to let him go if he shows it to her. He goes along with it, but it is quickly clear that the spider venom is affecting him hardcore. He tries to whistle Kenzi’s brain into soup, but she briefly outsmarts him with the noise from a vacuum cleaner and Bo hits him with the frying pan, again. Poor guy, the only thing he’s going to remember is the taste of apricots. Kenzi sees Hale’s gun and pulls it on Bo.

Dyson and Lauren bring pet shop boy back to the Dal. Trick hits him with some kind of faerie dust. It’s pretty cool he has that stuff behind the bar, no wonder he doesn’t have bouncers. Trick informs the team that he mistranslated and the djieiene doesn’t bury its heart it implants it. Dyson gives pet shop boy a slightly more lethal look before ripping open his shirt. Lauren pushes him out of the way so she can listen for the extra heartbeat. And I call bullshit this time. I’m guessing Dyson’s hearing is just a bit better than hers. Whatever, control freak girl, I’ll let you be useful if you stop calling exterminators out to kill our hero. Lauren is screwing around with pet shop boy’s abdomen and Dyson is left fielding calls from scary security chick informing him she’s about to kill his friends. He tries to explain what’s up, but security won’t listen. Why isn’t Lauren making this call? Lauren stabs the guy to get out the heart in a most unsurgical manner. Where did she go to med school? Grenada? She pulls out the heart and starts to swoon over it. Dyson urges her to kill it and she does. The spider’s death instantly affects Kenzi and she drops the gun. Lauren finally gets on the phone to security chick and fixes her mistake. Relief, everyone is safe and sound. Except for Hale’s brain damage, but I’m sure he won’t notice.

It’s time to wrap up all the stories and what better place than Lauren’s lab. Bo thanks the doc in a flirty, flirty way for saving them, and Lauren doesn’t even hesitate to take all the credit. Dyson comes in and strides over to Dr. Lauren. He accuses her of being inconsistent, but still surprising him. Lauren asks if he is upset because of her questionable loyalties or the fact she Bo’s savior this time. Dyson retorts, “you’re the one who almost got her killed.” Boo-ya and thank you very much. Lauren taking credit for the save is super offensive to me. We’re definitely getting set up for a bigger confrontation.

Kenzi and Bo are reconciling at home, when Dyson brings them pizza. He is so much cuter than the earlier delivery boy I almost forgot baby Kellan Lutz existed. The pizza comes with a warning though: Dyson doesn’t trust Lauren. “She’s just too close to the Ash, and you’re too close to her.” Bo retorts that she does trust Lauren, and one more nail in the not-going-to-listen-to-you coffin, Lauren “cares.” Dyson’s unwilling to say the same, but he is willing to say no more healing for Bo. It’s a little petty, but I can see where he’s coming from. Bo takes a lot from Dyson and he’s always been there for her, she really should trust him by now.

Next week things come to a head. Set your DVRs and don’t, I mean DO NOT, miss the first five minutes. Boy, oh, boy are they good!

1.       Does Kenzi have a room?

2.       Is Lauren trustworthy?

3.       Is Dyson trustworthy?

4.       What household implement would you prefer to be killed with?

5.       Does anyone know what “double-stuffed” means?

Quotes:

“I’m pretty sure his crust is double-stuffed.”

“Don’t give up now, his eyes say no, but his inner wolf says, ‘aahhooo-yes.’”

“I thought she fixed your hungry honeypot.”

“Poor, Bo. So many choices, just one vag.”

“It tried to rip me in the face. The face part of my face.”

Hales get some love too:

“She’s not a person. She’s a mystical panty remover.”

“Oh, you guys stopped fighting? Nobody even got their top ripped off.”